Music matters to me

So vital in my life.  My father was a concert pianist before the 2nd World War and so I was brought up with music.  When my mother died my father  turned to his piano as a form of therapy.  He played nearly all day every day for a number of years and ended up recording 2 CDs of his favourite pieces. Some of which I have listed below.

The following pieces of music have played a very important part in my life since Alex left in February 2009.

Schubert Op 142 No3 in B flat major

I keep wondering why this piece of music is so important to me.  So I have been doing some serious thinking and listening to it – again and again – and this is how I see it:

There are 7 distinct sections in this Impromptu and this is how I feel about them:

1. This makes me feel very nostalgic.  I remember all the good my marriage had in it, the love and affection and the sadness I feel for the loss of all it was to me.
2. This is how I see my friends  – all egging me on to take the steps to a happier future.  A sort of “come on Caroline – you can do it” – full of love and encouragement –  but huge uncertainty from me.
3. The “Yes I can do it” moment.  The first few tentative steps followed by more certainty and conviction that happiness is a possibility.
4. The backwards step.  Retreat.  Indecision and a reluctance to let go.  How can I justify giving myself a new future when I care so much for the past?  I  can’t and don’t want  to re-write the past.
5. The light starts to dawn.  I can do it.  I really do have a good future.  I will be OK.
6. The joy of finding the new me.  I have succeeded.  I am there.  I have won.
7. Calm reflection on what I have been through and an amazing peace.

I have uploaded the version I adore.  This  is  Radu Lupu playing it  – his interpretation of the piece is so strong.

Schubert_ Impromptu In B Flat, Op

 

The Sloth – Michael Flanders & Donald Swann:  How I love the lyrics (which make me giggle) and the melody which is just beautiful!

Lullaby to a Seahorse – Michael Flanders & Donald Swann:  Again wonderful lyrics and lovely music!!

Susan Boyle’s 1st CD – Who I was Born To Be:

This sums up where I am today (Nov 2010) and a feeling that I really have found the person within me who is who I am meant to be:

 

Brahms and Chopin Waltzes – my father plays  on his CDs

Here they are: