I’ve learnt something today

Only when you have respect for yourself can you have respect for anyone else.

I have just come back from one of my life coaching sessions!

I have respect for me and I am important and I am not going to carry on in limbo – which is where I have been – more or less – for the last 18 months.

My future is the fun, confident, fun loving me surrounded by people who enjoy my company, find me fun to be with, and respect me as a human being.  That is who I will be.  My heart knows this – now I need to remind my brain!  Especially at 3.00am when I can’t sleep!

I AM going to be the ‘champagne’, the ‘fizz’ and the sparkle.

So my plan of action starts today.

I am going to go out – at least once a week.

I am going to find a new place to live.

I might even take up a bit of internet dating (after all I really have no intention of being on my own for the rest of my life).

This is a positive day!!!!

xxxxx

Can marriage survive an affair

This appears to be a question many, many people ask.

I believe it can.  I believe my marriage to Alex was so special that we could come through this a stronger and closer couple.  At the moment this is not something that I have had to look at too closely as Alex is still ‘in the affair’ and  – as far as I know – not looking to come back. And I know this sounds as if I’ve completely ‘lost it’ but I don’t think he is happy and I think – most of the time – he was happy with me.

What I know – without a shadow of doubt – is that no one can be happy with another person until they are happy with themselves.  This is why I am going to Life and Relationship Coaching.

I also know that if we do get back together we have to rebuild the trust and respect we had before , we have to talk through what he has done and what effect it had on both of us and that when that’s all done and dusted then neither of us can  – EVER – bring up his affair, the reasons he did it or any other destructive emotion we both went through during this time.

I see so many couples who have got back together and  then the injured party throws the affair in the other’s face every time there is a row or disagreement.

So to anyone who is asking this question “Can marriage survive an affair”  the answer is yes if you want it to enough but probably not without help and as far as I can see – with my yet to be proven experience – I would say Relationship Coaching – if you find a good one – can certainly assist and help you succeed!

xxx

Life Coaching – continues

Someone asked me earlier this week why I am going to a male relationship coach.

Good question.

Well – Men hopefully understand men!  But – and this is an appalling generalisation – I think they may be better  at understanding women  than women are at understanding men.

I have seen a couple of female counsellers and they both brought with them their own take on marriage breakup using their own personal experiences.  I think men can be more rational and so more open minded.  My situation is mine (and Alex’s) and no one else’s.  It may have similarities to other breakups but we are still unique as a couple and our issues are unique – and have to be dealt with uniquely.

I hope this makes sense – it does to me – which I suppose is all that matters!!  It is a bit waffley!  Sorry!

another aphorism

“You can only be at peace with the world if your mind isn’t in pieces and you are at peace with yourself”

I’m finding the real me

Although a bit traumatic I am finding the real me – the me I want to be – the me I like the most and who meets the values I hold dear within me.  Not the me I don’t like who I allow to take over when I’m scared or unsure.

I can be the real me – who – incidentally – is much nicer!

The Life Coaching sessions are helping – in ways I hadn’t expected

K B O

As Churchill apparently said!

The ups and downs of life are sent to try us! And I am severely tried here. If this is a test can I settle for a lower grade rather than the full degree course!!

being stuck at home for the last week after a little knee op (that’s a little op rather than a little knee!) I have resorted to daytime TV in an attempt to keep me from total boredom.

I appear to have become worryingly hooked on Jeremy Kyle (a whole new world of relationships has opened up in front of me – I didn’t realise mine was so boring and mundane!)

I have also had far too much time to think – NOT GOOD – especially when the thoughts are negative!

POSITIVE THOUGHTS are what I need right now

And I can’t be all ‘sorry for me and why should I go on’ as apart from anything else what a waste of everyone’s efforts and money on repairing my knee!!!