So now I’m really going to need new goals..

It’s 12.30am and I’ve just got back from my party!  It went incredibly well.  At least I think so and everyone said so.  And people even gave me  presents – which wasn’t the idea at all!!!

I was given a wonderful tiny kaleidoscope by some dear friends.  And they had had it engraved with “See the World a different way” – it made me cry it was so touching and lovely.

And my speech went well and – yes – it was videoed.  Funny how you practice and practice and still you end up saying it differently!   And quicker!    And I did  manage to get a couple  of people to look rather emotional – but sadly nobody cried!!

I am looking forward to seeing it – I think!!

Anyway I had fun and we all danced and everyone enjoyed it.  So it was good.

And Now………

Now I am really going to have to concentrate on my values and goals. As now I have no real tangible goal to aim for. And I need one to keep me going.  The next few weeks are going to be so tough.

And I so don’t want to crash.  Please God don’t let me crash.

Tonight was the watershed.  Tonight I asked for people to stop feeling sorry for me.  So I can’t weep all over them again.  So now I really do have to grasp my future.  As tomorrow really is the start of a new life.

And as I sit here unwinding from the high of the evening  I do admit I am having a gentle cry.  And I really don’t know why!!  I’ve probably had far too much to drink!  I did drink more than I have for the last 22 months.  But I just wanted to.

I think I’ll go to bed!

Night, night


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