It’s 12.30am and I’ve just got back from my party! It went incredibly well. At least I think so and everyone said so. And people even gave me presents – which wasn’t the idea at all!!!
I was given a wonderful tiny kaleidoscope by some dear friends. And they had had it engraved with “See the World a different way” – it made me cry it was so touching and lovely.
And my speech went well and – yes – it was videoed. Funny how you practice and practice and still you end up saying it differently! And quicker! And I did manage to get a couple of people to look rather emotional – but sadly nobody cried!!
I am looking forward to seeing it – I think!!
Anyway I had fun and we all danced and everyone enjoyed it. So it was good.
Now I am really going to have to concentrate on my values and goals. As now I have no real tangible goal to aim for. And I need one to keep me going. The next few weeks are going to be so tough.
And I so don’t want to crash. Please God don’t let me crash.
Tonight was the watershed. Tonight I asked for people to stop feeling sorry for me. So I can’t weep all over them again. So now I really do have to grasp my future. As tomorrow really is the start of a new life.
And as I sit here unwinding from the high of the evening I do admit I am having a gentle cry. And I really don’t know why!! I’ve probably had far too much to drink! I did drink more than I have for the last 22 months. But I just wanted to.
I think I’ll go to bed!