I do have choices

I just need to start making them!

I think the seed of this  thought started last night whilst I was watching  the Strictly Come Dancing final.

I have been glued to the series for the last few weeks.  And if ever there was an example to two people of similar age making two very fundamentally different choices it was Ann Widdecombe and Pamela Stevenson.

On the one hand – in my view –  ‘Widdy’ decided to do the minimum she could get away with and then justified her actions with a mass of fairly negative choices: she decided she was too old, she had no ability to dance, she didn’t want to learn, too over-weight, her reluctance to really participate.  She justified these choices and  attacked the judges. But the nation laughed at her – not with her.  They kept her in until justice prevailed and then they kicked her out when they got fed up with her lack of commitment.

Pammy took a totally different tack.  Yes she had almost the same credentials at the start:  Same age, rather overweight.  But wow – she made totally different choices.  She decided to give it her best shot.  She set her goal incredibly high.  She knew she might fail but that didn’t stop her from setting her goal as winning.  And she so nearly did!   The nation didn’t laugh at her, they applauded her.  The judges applauded her. She got more 10s than any other contestant.  She threw herself into it  and grew into someone she didn’t believe existed and she loved it.    She changed physically in front of our eyes by losing more weight than she thought possible. She found a new inner being and a totally new lease of life.

So this morning I wonder which one of our two 60 something candidates will really, truly and deeply look at their experience and be able to say “Wow that really changed me and changed me for the better”.

So today I too have choices.   And choices don’t have to be on a grand scale.  They can be small but they can make a significant difference to a day.

I can either convince myself that the snow is too deep to do anything and all I can do is stay in and mooch around the flat.  Do some depressing clearing out, glare at my PC, wish that Alex was here, watch too much TV and generally have yet another boring Sunday


I can wrap up warm.  Pick up my camera.  Go out and take some photos. Get in my 4×4 and go out and about so I can really appreciate the landscape.  And providing I’m sensible and don’t go off the beaten track,  I reckon I should be OK!

After all just because I still have to deal with a problem in my past which is haunting me rather – doesn’t mean I can’t do other things!

So although one of my goals is to go through all the accumulated stuff of the last 20 years – my choice is Not to do it today!

2 thoughts on “I do have choices

  1. Caroline, I haven’t left a comment through the last several posts, how does someone respond with the right words when there are none. I’m sorry? You’ll get through this? I know a friend who had a similar experience?
    All of them sound appropriate advise for someone who has lost a goldfish or a puppy.
    Time, the very thing that helped you conceal the event, will be the same thing that helps gets you through it.
    It’s similar to fighting the monster that hides in your closet as a child, it can not hurt you once it’s exposed to the light of day. By flinging open the door that you had double bolted, chained and locked, the power of that experience had over you has been laid to waste. You have such strength of character, I applauded you. AJ

    • Thank you for your wonderful words and thoughts. It has been very traumatic to face having buried it so deep for so long. And I still have a way to go. But now I know I have to face it to enable me to have a wonderful future. The one I want and deserve.

      It has been tough writing about it but something deep inside told me I had to as part of the healing process.

      Your comment actually made me cry – in a good way! So thank you.

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