A moment of reflection

My moment of reflection of the last two years (well almost 2 years).

The tough times:

  • When Alex told me he didn’t think our marriage had a future.
  • When Alex left – ostensibly on a temporary basis to ‘sort himself out’.
  • When Alex committed adultery.
  • Just over a year ago, when my father said he wanted to die but felt he had to keep going to support me during the tough time I was going through.  I sat beside him and held his hand and said:  “It’s OK Dad, I will be OK,  you have my permission to die”.  It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to say in my life.  But the relief on his face after I’d said it showed and I knew I’d done the right thing and that he had needed to hear it to stop hanging on for me.  He died 3 weeks later.  At peace with the world and himself – 7 weeks after his 100th birthday.
  • Dealing with divorce.
  • Admitting  to the things in my past that have made me who I am.
  • Living through all this.

The Good bits:

  • My father’s 100th birthday bash. With its specially laid-on aerobatic display and Spitfire flypast and finding the steamroller he  had owned and getting it to the do in full steam!
  • Going to India on the Tiger watching holiday.
  • Finding I had friends I didn’t know I had and how totally wonderful people can be.  How loved I’ve felt.
  • Throwing my thank you party a month ago.
  • Life Coaching.
  • Learning about myself (even the tough bits).
  • Writing this blog and finding that people actually read it!
  • The great comments I receive here and the support I’ve had from all my cyber supporters!
  • The fact I’m still here!!!

Thank you:

  • To my readers for reading this blog.
  • To those who have commented –  for commenting, making me laugh and giggle and just egging me on!  You have no idea how much it  helps to know you are all out there.
  • To my life coach – if he reads this – for encouraging me to dig deeper than I’ve ever dug in my life so I have found things about myself I didn’t know where there.  (And yes I know I still have a quite a way to go and some fairly tough things to deal with!)

2 thoughts on “A moment of reflection

  1. Caroline, I had posted an earlier comment, it must have gotten lost in the ether of space. I feel fortunate to have come across your blog, thanks for sharing a most difficult time in your life, my hope to someday see posts of sunnier day, with new friends and happier times, all in good time I’m sure . Wishing you a very Merry Christmas, surrounded by friends and people who care.
    Take care AJ

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