Thank you AJ for this wonderful, thoughtful and touching post:
As I read your post this evening I thought about what it would be like for me if I had lost someone like you. Foolish, selfish, boorish and about four other words the end with an ish! Then I would open the thesaurus and look up stupid, and browse through that entry for a while.
You are quite a remarkable woman to have made it through all this, yes a bit bruised maybe, but so much stronger I think. I mean look how last night went, holding your own, and chuckling inside when he thought you should get help to deal with your past. The stupid son of a B*@$h blew it when he stepped out on you. It was his duty to be there to help you through it, no matter how difficult. If he had he would have received the greatest reward a man could receive; unconditional love, a new discovered passion, with no hesitations, exploring your new found innocence together. Few men get to share that with a lover, let alone twice in the same marriage.
My hope for you now is to find the man that can hold on to you and treat you like a precious gem, keeping you close to protect you, while you start down a very exciting and unexplored path. A very fortunate man is he.