What is it with “friends”…

What is it with some people?  And by this I mean people who know me – personally – have met me and who I thought I counted as my friends…  who then feel they have the right to tell me what I should and shouldn’t be doing.  How I should be behaving and – even – how or how not I should spend my income!

This doesn’t apply to everyone and certainly not any of you who come here to my blog.  Hence I can say what I feel here!

But there is a contingent of my so called friends who are continually questioning why I am going to Life Coaching.  They feel they can tell me what I should be doing, even – one case this week – stopped me  – physically – from running my fingers through my hair.   And I might add doing that is all part of me being me!  I like doing it!!  And I shall stop when I want to – and not before!!  It’s my choice!

So what gives them that right to try and ‘run’ me?

Perhaps I do.  Unintentionally maybe.  But maybe I allow them – without realising I do it  – to critisize me and run roughshod over me as I never stand up and say “Enough is enough”  or point out gently – that it’s none of their business.  I think I get too scared of upsetting them – when all that happens is I get upset and feel belittled!  Well I don’t like it.  I wouldn’t dream of telling them how to run their lives or what they should or shouldn’t do or say.  I wouldn’t consider it any of my business.  Who am I to judge them?

And as to the so called ‘friend’  who  earlier this week, dismissed my revelation on what happened to me at 15 with the statement “Are you sure it really did?  Perhaps you have had the idea planted in your mind and you are just imagining it”.  What gave her that right?   I am feeling indignant.

Very gently and politely I am going to make a stand.  Enough is enough.  Those people (and there aren’t actually that many) who feel they can do this will be – gently and kindly – asked to stop.  I shan’t be rude.  But I shall be firm.

I will not have my values compromised by me – or anyone else.  If they have no respect for me then sobeit.  I have respect for me and it starts with being firmer with how I am treated by these people. (And thank you Stephen for pointing this out to me yesterday – It was tough to take it on board but I can see you are right! – Which rather answers the questions as to why I am going to Life Coaching and why I shall continue to go as long as he feels I need to – you see it’s working for me – brilliantly – and that is actually all that matters!)

And you dear readers are far more sensible and intelligent – your comments and advice is treasured and really appreciated.  I just  need to sort out a select few of my local ‘friends’!!

Update:  And maybe if I do this my mind will let me sleep – for more than 2 nights in a row!!!  Which is STILL the problem.  For 2 nights I slept OK  – last night – sadly not!

3 thoughts on “What is it with “friends”…

  1. Step 1: they wil feel offended
    Step 2: stay strong to urself, no matter what they do or say
    Step 3: you may loose some of them who can`t accept this “new you”
    Step 4: the one who will stay, really love you

  2. Goodness Caroline! Fire in the belly stuff! Exactly what did you have for breakfast?.
    It would be nice to have a good reason for staying up all night, at least something better than the one you got right now… if you know what I mean 😉
    Take care Caroline, don’t forget your mouth guard when you take a poke at some of those “friends”.

    • Thanks AJ – yes I will be careful!! I don’t want to alienate anyone. Especially those who have been so supportive over these last two years (gosh is it that long – I really should be over this by now!). But I can’t allow them to rule me – which is what’s happening. I don’t think they realise they’re doing it – no really – it’s just they’ve got so used to ‘sorting me out’ they can’t stop and I have to be allowed to live my life the way I want to and not the way they think I should! I can’t go on being ‘mothered’ by them!! If you know what I mean! I will take care. I may not actually say anything – just make it clear I am now in charge of me!! Caroline

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