I’ve been giving this a great deal of thought over the last few days.

I have always been honest about how I see myself   – and I have always told other people – probably to seek approval and confirmation that I’m OK – but I’ve also highlighted my faults – which is ludicrous.   How many other people do I know who spend their time telling everyone  their faults and perceived character failings or defects  – hardly any and actually those that do, I find I have very little respect for.

Bingo Caroline!

It now dawns on me that I’ve spent great swathes of my life inadvertently inviting criticism and of course I’ve been given it.  I’ve allowed people to cross a boundary which they would never dream of crossing with anyone else.

I gave them permission to tell me what they think of me.  To judge me.   And having been given that permission they did.

Well no longer.  I am a confident, self-assured, funny (above everything else – funny!!)  woman and it’s about time I reminded everyone!

So my boundary is set.  I will no longer tolerate this pervasive destruction of my character which I find rude and belittling.

Would they like it  if I did it to them.  No.  And they would be very surprised if I did.

I respect me for who I am.  I will no longer allow people permission to destroy me and undermine my confidence.

I don’t think I will have to tell them.  I shall just stop them in their tracks.  My life is my life and how I live it is down to me.

I shall just bat their criticism into the long grass with a smile and a gentle reminder of who I am.

This may take time and those that enjoy and are used to destroying my character may find it a bit uncomfortable for a time. But if they are genuinely my friends they will still love me and probably love me more and if they don’t like the new me – well that’s their loss!!

It’s weird as here – on my blog – I am not this over flexible person at all!!

So I just need to practice what I write!!


4 thoughts on “Respect

  1. Caroline, I think sometimes we confuse modesty for a poor self image. My parents G-d love em, were always a bit tight with the compliment in fear the kid might get an over inflated ego.
    Today, at 50 plus years old, I find myself down playing my intellect, or my work ethic, well maybe not my prowess as a lover, I mean some things men just can’t or won’t understate.
    Go kick some ass, my friend. AJ

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