AJ’s post really made me think last night. It is so easy to take things for granted – like one’s health. We never think it will be us or our loved ones who will suffer and yet it can be – and why should we be any more immune from these things than anyone else. So I need to keep things in proportion. Yes my heart was broken – but I am repairing it. Albeit a bit slowly! And I had 17 wonderful years with Alex. And for that I really am grateful. Many people don’t get that chance. I wouldn’t have missed what we had for the world. He will always be a part of me – of who I am. As I will always be a part of him – we shared too much for that to be obliterated. And I have stupendous wonderful memories of the time we shared together.
Then I got to thinking what my mother would have said to me about Alex and the break up. She would have allowed me to grieve. In fact she would have encouraged me to do so. But whe wouldn’t have allowed me to wallow! I remember many years ago (20+) when I had to move back to the family home. I’d been made redundant, I’d broken up with the man I thought I wanted to marry (he turned out to be gay – which is a sort of no-brainer where breaking up is concerned) and I had been ‘kicked out’ of the apartment I was renting in London. So I had no money, no home and everything seemed to have gone ‘pear shaped’. She allowed me about 3 weeks to settle and then took charge! I remember her saying – so what have you got? I’ll tell you! You’ve got your health and you are intelligent – so get yourself a job and start again.
And I did!
So all I have to do – is run it all again. And this time I do have a job so that’s one less thing to worry about. I am still healthy – and – on occasions – I can be quite intelligent (joke!!). And I’m still funny and loving and caring. I am lucky!