Or as my father would have said – ‘My Girl you are causing your own rough air’ – a good flying analogy to what I do to myself – far too often!
To explain: In flying this is when the trainee pilot moves the controls around far too much causing the plane/glider to jerk around the sky instead of flying smoothly. It feels as if it’s the fault of the air – when actually it isn’t.
But I am doing this to me. I know by shifting my focus I am causing myself mental ‘jerks’ in my life- ups and downs – which is not giving me a smooth ride. The problem is – like the trainee pilot – I haven’t quite mastered all the techniques to give myself that smooth ride.
In flying it’s far easier than you might think. As my dear father used to say – ‘When all else fails – do nothing – the glider will fly itself’ – which is true. I wonder if the same applies in life. It used to. It doesn’t now. My brain doesn’t allow that as an option – especially at 3.00am when I wake tense, unhappy and often with a splitting headache. Then my mind focuses on the ‘Pain’ and off I go on a rollercoaster of What Ifs and Whys which is so unproductive and not at all conducive to sleep!
I know focusing on my future is what I must keep hold of and not let go. I hate the dips I’m giving myself. It’s all rather unnerving and I feel I am letting myself down!
But I am doing a great deal better. I’m in a far better place than I was 6 months ago. I have the tools to keep going forwards and I want and need to do this ‘on my own’. Hence my decision to reduce my Life Coaching sessions to every two weeks rather than once a week. Apart from anything else I need more to discuss and talk about when I go!