Why saying sorry is not enough

So why isn’t it?   One of my readers has expressed his views on the subject and it is an interesting point.

I remember my wonderful Mum telling us when we were children that saying sorry is easy – not creating the situation in the first place is the hard thing.

She gave us an example that, as children, we could relate to.  We all went through the stage of collecting stamps.  We each had our prized collection.  So she used this to explain her point.  She said:

If someone walks all over your stamp collection and destroys it and then says sorry, they may be full of remorse BUT they’ve still destroyed your stamp collection.  You no longer have what you had.  They have broken something that was special to you and mattered.  So saying sorry has its place and is very important, but so much better not to hurt in the first place.

So Alex has smashed my ‘stamp collection’ (our marriage and my heart).  He may be sorry.  But our marriage is still smashed and my heart broken.

It would have been so much better if he had not done it in the first place!  So much better to have taken that step ‘into the unknown’ and looked for a better solution. To have discussed the issues he had and to have sought a resolution.  Maybe we would have been unable to find that resolution together but at least we would have approached the solution together and in an adult way.

So that’s why I said “Saying sorry is not enough“.  It just isn’t

3 thoughts on “Why saying sorry is not enough

    • No you can’t. And that’s what is part of the ‘unfair’ bit. To part having gone through something like Stephen offers would have at least given us the chance to behave like the adults we were when we married and to have treated our vows and each other with respect.

  1. Totally Agree. Saying sorry isn’t enough. He can’t ever take back the pain and can’t fix what is now broken. So ts time to forgive and forget. Forgive yourself for being fooled, and forget he ever existed!

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