Perhaps that wasn’t so clever

Salt Pans - Botswana

As I predicted I did know more about Namibia and Botswana than our speaker!  A great deal more!   She let herself down rather – especially on her wildlife which she got very mixed up over.

But  I didn’t do myself any favours going as I opened up rather too many wounds!  I thought I’d be OK – but all I did was find myself remembering the incredibly happy times we had together on the numerous holidays we spent in those two countries.  And I don’t care what Alex says now he was happy then – really happy.

I have come home wondering “What happened to the Alex I knew then”  because he is not that person now.  It really is as if an alien has invaded his mind and his persona.  The then person was confident and in charge of himself and a caring, loving and special human being.  He isn’t that now.  I just wonder what triggered all this.   Perhaps ‘Midlife Crisis’ really is what’s happened.

Sad.  So sad.

5 thoughts on “Perhaps that wasn’t so clever

  1. I know exactly how you feel. It’s just makes your heart ache, doesn’t it? And I do think it’s fear of aging aka midlife crisis that hits so many men. It seems to hit really hard and they don’t know how to deal with. When buying a new Harley Davidson or a new convertible doesn’t work, they decide to try a new, younger woman. At least that’s what I think happened to D.

    Hang on–better days are coming.

    • Yes I agree. I think A also has huge issues to deal with over his childhood and that coupled with the Midlife crisis was more than he could handle. But bolting doesn’t solve it – dealing with it, facing it does. Which to be fair he is doing. But he still links me with all his problems, which apart from being grossly unfair means he hasn’t got to the root of the issues yet. And maybe he never will.

  2. I am sure that the person doesn’t change eventually. Just till some moment it hides some lines of the character. Your Alex always was such, as now. But you didn’t see that.

    • I think his mother’s death released a mass of bottled up emotions which resulted in this happening. The problem is I’ve taken the ‘hit’ as I was the only one in ‘reach’ at the time. If he really was happy with the OW he’d be living with her – he isn’t!

      But thanks for your comments! It’s always good to get a different slant on things

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