I keep wanting to ring Alex and say “Can we just not do this?!” “Can we just have a different ending to the one we are going for”
And I know I can’t do that!
I’m not feeling miserable – just sad. And I do hope this isn’t sounding like a whinge!! Whingeing is not good! And must not be tolerated!
To be miserable just now would be far too self-centered with all the horrendous problems there are at the moment in the world. So now is a time to count my blessings and be thankful I am who I am.
I find I often feel like this on a Monday. Weekends are still difficult. After all at weekends couples can be couples rather than two individuals dealing with work and juggling all the things they have to during the week. So it’s at weekends the loneliness creeps up behind me and before I know it I am engulfed. Then I go back to work and feel like shouting “There should be more to life than just work!!”
So Focus is the key!! Focus on improving my future! I am reasonably good at focusing on short-term goals. I am back in party mode and organsing what started out to be a “Small do” for my impending change-of-decade birthday in two weeks time! The “Small do” has turned into a “do” for 23. I am packing them all into my rather small house. Well at least it will be cuddly!!
Actually perhaps I should just track Alex down and wring his neck!! In a nice way if you know what I mean!