Another surreal feeling moment!

I keep wanting to ring Alex and say “Can we just not do this?!”  “Can we just have a different ending  to the one we are going for”

And I know I can’t do that! 

I’m not feeling miserable – just sad.  And I do hope this isn’t sounding like a whinge!!  Whingeing is not good!  And must not be tolerated!

To be miserable just now would be far too self-centered with all the horrendous problems there are at the moment in the world.  So now is a time to count my blessings and be thankful I am who I am.

I find I often feel like this on a Monday.  Weekends are still difficult.  After all at weekends couples can be couples rather than two individuals dealing with work and juggling all the things they have to during the week.  So it’s at weekends the loneliness creeps up behind me and before I know it I am engulfed.  Then I go back to work and feel like shouting “There should be more to life than just work!!”

So Focus is the key!!  Focus on improving my future!  I am reasonably good at focusing on short-term goals.  I am back in party mode and organsing what started out to be a “Small do” for my impending change-of-decade birthday in two weeks time!  The “Small do” has turned into a “do” for 23.  I am packing them all into my rather  small house. Well at least it will be cuddly!!

Actually perhaps I should just track Alex down and wring his neck!!  In a nice way if you know what I mean!

3 thoughts on “Another surreal feeling moment!

  1. I’m latching on to “engulf” as relates to weekend sadness. We don’t plan or expect it to happen–the sadness. It just engulfs us.

    I’m glad you’re planning a birthday party. That kept me focused for a spell. And as you know, when we focus we do better. Hang in there, Friend, you’re doing fine.

  2. Oh c’mon, maybe you should show yourself some compassion, whingeing is okay as long as you don’t go overboard. As for wringing his neck, that’s perfectly acceptable. Planning a birthday, absolutely! As you near the end of the decade you’re now entering, you’ll look back on this time and understand w/certainty that he wasn’t that special (if he were, he would have never discarded marriage to such an amazing woman) and you’ll wonder why you let him take up valuable real estate in your head. By then, your life will be infinitely better – I promise. You’re doing great, so far. Whinge, breathe in, breathe out, identify and move on to your new chapter. You’re doing great!

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