Just when I thought….

Just when I thought I was at last beginning to ‘crack it’, to feel I could actually stop caring, loving, whatever – I get an email from Alex.  This had to be as there is STILL the final consent order to agree on the divorce – which he appears to be trying to ignore.

Anyway – No love (I emailed him recently asking him not to sign off ‘love Alex’ as I can’t cope).  But he’s still saying how he wants us to be friends…..  To be ‘amicable’ – whatever that means.

Anyway – a bit of opening up the wound.  And I was SO determined that I was OK!

BU**ER – I’m having a down moment.

Notes to self: 

  • Think cheerful thoughts of all those suitors you’re going to get to feel!!. 
  • Go and do some French homework (I winged it tonight!!).
  • Go to bed and watch TV!
  • OK – I’ve made myself smile!!!

13 thoughts on “Just when I thought….

  1. Hey, you are OK! In fact you are better than OK and you are still beginning to crack it. Nothing has changed that – take the power away, back to you. Just an email. Watch the emotion come off it and whosh past you out the window! Just a thought. 🙂

  2. amicable means to be friendly or peaceful. I think that perhaps you need distance. It is always worse when you feel you are progressing to have that progress slip some…or alot in my case 🙂

  3. I remember those spots with D. My response at those times was, “No, we can’t be friends right now.” I can now be congenial and even laugh with him as long as his OW isn’t with him. I suppose I will eventually not care whether she is with him or not. I haven’t gotten generous enough to feel happy sharing my grandchildren with her. And that’s usually when I see D–ball games, gymnastics meets, dance recitals, birthday parties. He has very carefully left her behind since he and I had our long talk.

    Keep doing what you’re doing. Time is a miracle healer.

  4. Isn’t that funny how they do the hurting and then they wanna be friends?! I wonder if that’s their remorse speaking. My husband is the same. And maybe its possible to be friends or rather congenial. But before you can get there you need your distance. You need to break away first. Find yourself and strengthen her. The friendship part may or may not come later. Stay strong. Hugs.

    • Yup! Fine to hurt (like I’ve never been hurt before) and then he wants the friends bit. So he’s walked all over me and short of actually shooting me he couldn’t have hurt me any deeper but wouldn’t it be fun to stay friends. Now there’s a bright idea I hadn’t thought of!!

      Thank you for the support.

  5. Sometimes you do get knocked back, and him signing off “love” Is rather more unfeeling than loving but you are on the right road and your bravery and attitude always shines through. Good on you

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