Dating tips for the potential suitors!

It’s clear after my encounter with Mr Friday last week that a few guidance notes and tips are required!

So, dear suitors, you win points for:

  • Being on time at the venue – in fact get there first
  • Making sure you look reasonably smart
  • For taking a massive interest in Me!
  • For laughing at my jokes (yes – even when they’re not funny! – Those of you who have seen the video of my 6ft & 30seconds moment will understand this!)
  • Paying the bill!  I like to be treated!

You lose them for:

  • Rattling on about how well you get on with your ex!  I don’t need to know
  • Telling me how often you got drunk last week
  • Telling me I’m a “Cheap Tart”!  I am not cheap! (I may keep away from alchohol but that doesn’t make me cheap!)  And I can promise you, sweetheart, that if and when I decide to ‘play the tart for you’ not only will you know about it, you will thoroughly enjoy the experience!  Until then – let’s just assume – I’m Not!
  • Telling me about what you do in the Mens’ Room (I really, really don’t need to know if you stand or sit to wee!!! – Just Too Much Information!!  I didn’t even know that about my Ex so I don’t need to know from you!! and yes Mr F did tell me that!).

And Finally  – How not to end up in my “Ditch the Date” Bin:

Never mind if you’ve bought me coffee, lunch, a pub meal or a full blown a la carte dinner, you do not have the right to ask or expect:

A hug, a kiss, a grope, a fondle or full blown sex!

This is not a la carte prostitution!  This is an interview or series of encounters which might lead to something more involved given time!!

And remember – If you have to ask – there’s a 100% chance the answer will be no!

So that’s it for starters.  I shall add further tips as time goes by and I have a few more ‘encounters’ to call upon!!

And – dear readers – if you want to add any others please do let me know.

11 thoughts on “Dating tips for the potential suitors!

  1. a second tip is not to go on a date till it seems more of a continuum from a relationship born from emails and phone converations rather than being an interview with someone you know little about. It worked for me anyway

    • Agreed – lesson learnt I think!! Though – I hope you feel – it had its amusing side! Dismembering it has given me and my co-workers a bit of a giggle!!

  2. Please invite me next time so that I can sit on the next table and eavesdrop … I think there has to be a sit com in this … not god forbid another reality show, but an honest to goodness, well written, belly laugh of a show!!!

    After all, computer dating has become the norm it seems and the encounters can cover the whole gamut of emotions, laughter and drama … have to think who should be cast in it … across the generations would be good too … my friends daughter met her husband through ‘my best friend’ and she’s just 30! 😉

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