It’s clear after my encounter with Mr Friday last week that a few guidance notes and tips are required!
So, dear suitors, you win points for:
- Being on time at the venue – in fact get there first
- Making sure you look reasonably smart
- For taking a massive interest in Me!
- For laughing at my jokes (yes – even when they’re not funny! – Those of you who have seen the video of my 6ft & 30seconds moment will understand this!)
- Paying the bill! I like to be treated!
You lose them for:
- Rattling on about how well you get on with your ex! I don’t need to know
- Telling me how often you got drunk last week
- Telling me I’m a “Cheap Tart”! I am not cheap! (I may keep away from alchohol but that doesn’t make me cheap!) And I can promise you, sweetheart, that if and when I decide to ‘play the tart for you’ not only will you know about it, you will thoroughly enjoy the experience! Until then – let’s just assume – I’m Not!
- Telling me about what you do in the Mens’ Room (I really, really don’t need to know if you stand or sit to wee!!! – Just Too Much Information!! I didn’t even know that about my Ex so I don’t need to know from you!! and yes Mr F did tell me that!).
And Finally – How not to end up in my “Ditch the Date” Bin:
Never mind if you’ve bought me coffee, lunch, a pub meal or a full blown a la carte dinner, you do not have the right to ask or expect:
A hug, a kiss, a grope, a fondle or full blown sex!
This is not a la carte prostitution! This is an interview or series of encounters which might lead to something more involved given time!!
And remember – If you have to ask – there’s a 100% chance the answer will be no!
So that’s it for starters. I shall add further tips as time goes by and I have a few more ‘encounters’ to call upon!!
And – dear readers – if you want to add any others please do let me know.