So why do men cheat?

And OK – I know women do too!

I’ve just been reading another blog and the writer asked the same question – which is what got me thinking!

I know my perspective is riddled with what has happened to me and my marriage.  The speed of the disintegration of the relationship that I thought was for life – come what may – for better, for worse.

I think some men cheat because, actually, it’s easier to run than face up to issues they have within them.  Maybe they run to  a solution outside themselves rather than dealing with the ‘within’.  In my view that’s what Alex has done.

At the end of the day.  He’s done it. Something I still find amazing – especially on those moments of nostalgia – which, of course, are so dangerous, as they remind me of the times when I was so gloriously happy.  Those moments I gave myself that wonderful feeling of

“Love is how I feel about me when I’m with You” times (credit to my Life Coach – Stephen)

So do we have to face the fact that a lot of men cheat because they are weak wimps who find it safer to bury a relationship than take the initially tougher route of giving 100% to their partner and thus climbing a difficult hill to find something amazing at the top.

Maybe apathy just sets in and they can’t be bothered!

Maybe lust takes over and all they want is masses of sex -and a relationship is a transient thing that gets dropped when a new ‘sex-toy’ appears on the horizon.

I don’t know the answer. This post is just me musing on the possibilities!

10 thoughts on “So why do men cheat?

  1. I have read that they cheat ‘because they can’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    If sisterhood was strong then they couldn’t .. just wouldn’t happen!

    • Exactly. Too many women are happy to play the love-bunny with men who are married!

      I know one thing – without a glimmer of doubt – I will never do to anyone else’s marriage what was done to mine.

  2. Speaking as a person stricken with a penile appendage, I feel I’m qualified to give this one ago.
    First let me qualify this with; I have never cheated on my wife, ever, never.
    However, I think that sometimes an emotional attraction can manifest itself out of the simplest of circumstances; showing compassion for someone who is hurting inside, offering up a compliment to someone with poor self image, reassuring someone that they are special and desirable, garnering support to someone that just needs someone to talk to.
    Without even realizing it you’re listening more intently and the conversation switches to personal feelings or experiences, and as you try to console her during a vulnerable moment, soon that which started out so innocent can quickly stampede out of control.
    It takes integrity of both the man and the woman to pull back and re-asses the signals that are being given out and consider the pain it would cause all those involved; especially if the individual with the penis, let’s his little head do all the thinking for him.

    Two final thoughts, 1; It really does take two to Tango, and 2; Divorce is “The F@#kin’ you get for the F@#kin’ you got!
    Take care Ladies. AJ

  3. Oh I never meant to imply that cheating was ‘worth it’ I personally think it is probably the most painful, and emotionally devastating act someone could commit against another. I was only trying to suggest that not all infidelity starts out as a scheme ‘to get some’, and that two people could find themselves arriving at the station, well before either of them realizes they have purchased a ticket.

    It may seem hard to understand but I think it takes a lot of strength to say no, this is not what I want; than to plow through as it were, ruining the lives of so many; who were innocently entangled in one persons selfish act.
    Take care Caroline, AJ

    • OOps AJ – sorry – I didn’t mean to suggest you did think that. It was a random thought I had this morning thinking about what Alex had gained (if anything) for what he has done. I know you don’t think so. You have integrity – Alex didn’t.

  4. This is a good question, if sexist (ha ha). Here are some situations to consider where it might be understandable, if still not excusable.
    1) The man loves his children, but his wife is unbearable. The man enjoys seeing his children every day rather than every other weekend. To be fulfilled, he has an affair.
    2) His wife cheated on him.
    3) The man has been accused, blamed, charged, imprisoned, tried, convicted and sentenced for cheating, even though he has done no such thing, and the saying “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime” echoes through his head, only in reverse.
    4) His wife hits him, beats him, or abuses him in some way, and society still isn’t to the point where they will acknowledge this happens sometimes.

    Please note, I said understandable, not excusable.

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