The trouble is I know I’m short-changing me! How do I know? I don’t sleep!
So although I achieved a certain level of “Tigger Days” this weekend. I’m afraid I had “Eeyore Nights”. And Eeyore Nights are not at all good. They are when I wake in a deep gloom, horror, sad, rubbishy down! Which, dear reader, is unproductive, irritating, boring and no good for me, my welfare, my self-esteem or anything to do with growth, love, trust, respect, honesty, adventure or any other value I care to throw at myself!!
OK I behaved outrageously in town at the weekend by trying to hunt down an inflatable elephant. But I didn’t go that extra yard and do as Stephen had suggested! Why? Because I became incredibly irritated by the whole concept of the idea so I allowed the stubborn, stoppy-teenager, part of me to take over and I convinced myself it was a silly idea! That I was fed up with the whole LC process. I didn’t want to play anymore and throw more cash at the process….. I could go on!!! I then embarked on a pointless ‘feeling sorry for myself’ exercise which kept me wonderfully ‘entertained’ for a large part of yesterday evening!!! So much so I failed to do my french homework!
Never mind short-changing myself. For reasons that completely escape me I went into self-destruct mode. I have to say it was impressive!!!
So having inflicted maximum damage on myself, I went to bed exhausted and surprise, surprise I didn’t sleep!! Congratulations Caroline – have a gold star!!!
My other ‘homework’ tasks were to encourage some more dates on the Internet Dating sites I’m on. So, avoiding the ones who look ‘worrying’ I sent out a mass of contact messages.
How many replies have I had???
I do hope you realise, by now, that I am smiling at myself. I do see the funny side of all this!!
And I am not going to give up on me – even if sometimes my sub-conscious seems to rather fancy the idea!