A bizarre comment I know. But that’s what it feels like! But there still seems to be a bit of my brain which is refusing to budge and accept the situation I’m now in. It’s the bit that bounces to the fore in those initial moments when I wake every morning. That bit which causes my heart to ache and still, instinctively to turn to where Alex should be but isn’t!
However, I refuse to end up being one of those forlorn women I see so often, who almost relish the attention they think being forlorn gives them!
Damn it after spending all this money on Life Coaching I have to come out of this better than this! This is what I say to myself every morning!! As I wind myself up, yet again, to a positive frame of mind and so face the day!
I just feel it would be great to wake up feeling happy and wanting to embrace the day without the need to go through some convoluted process to get me there!
So each day I knock the wall down brick-by-brick, and each night the bricklayers rush in and put it back up!! But maybe not as high! So maybe I’m winning.
Of course on Wednesdays Stephen demolishes the wall completely and I go home feeling happy. Then over the next few nights the wall gets rebuilt albeit a lower wall – and round I go again!!
So my goal is to end up with no walls – not even rubble!
Clearly I need some more internet dating! After all – if the next one is as hilarious as the last then at least I’ll have acres of material to use to write a book or another blog..!!
And another thing I really must wean myself off watching this blog and seeing how the blog statistics are doing. Watching them won’t make them go up.
Writing good positive stuff just might!