There is something I haven’t been telling you about!! Mainly because I haven’t known how to put into words!
I’ve had an ‘interesting’ few weeks! And not just of the campaigning front!
One of my fellow campaigners has become besotted with me! B – as I shall call him for obvious reasons – is married and in a marriage which isn’t going too well. Masses of problems which he (and his wife) need to resolve. Unable – or so he thinks – to resolve them he has allowed himself to consider wandering (despite his emphatic statement that this is not the case!). I know – because I’m getting all the signs!
However, I am NOT his solution! I won’t be – ever. For all the reasons I’ve mentioned on this blog and also to him. I will never be. He could be the most fanciable man on the planet (and btw in case you’re wondering – I don’t fancy him!) and he would still not get anywhere. Because I will stand true to my statement never to do to anyone else’s marriage what was done to mine. Ever.
That being said it’s done my ego a great deal of good! It has been flattering to be ‘chatted up’, to be reminded I am attractive! Although I do have to admit I find the recent avalanche of incoming emails a bit overwhelming! Plus the outpourings of back-handed compliments as he struggles and questions why he finds me so attractive! (Charming!!).
He knows where I stand. I’ve told him – several times – over the last couple of weeks. And I mean it. I’ve told him he needs to talk to someone who has the tools to help him. I’ve told him I don’t.
But at the moment he is almost drowning in a stack of mixed emotions. I’ve suggested a route – which he is now taking – to rekindle his marriage. So I wish him well. And hopefully as he refocuses his life on where it should be focused he will let go of the prop he has turned me into. He needs to.
Anyway, all this has got me thinking. Who are our true, real friends?. And my view is our true friends really encourage us to do the best and be strong. To take the ‘noble’ route as the outcome could well be the better one.
When Alex had his meltdown and left, he was being encouraged to do so by work colleagues (mainly female) to clear off, have the affair, enjoy himself and go for it! Wow! I wonder how these women would react if they found their husbands being encouraged in this way! He ran into the arms of the OW who “Only wanted him to be happy”! Wow again! A couple of his true friends attempted to get him to dig deep and address his issues. He ran from those!! He didn’t need to listen as he had so many other ‘friends’ encouraging him to run. He was all too happy to quote the ones who encouraged him to be the lesser being rather than the stronger one. And all through this he kept telling me he wanted to be a man not a wimp!!
So I hope I’ve been a true friend to B. I hope he sees that eventually (though he’s unlikely to just now) .