Standing out in the crowd

In the past I’ve always rather liked standing out in the crowd!  Being noticed!

Over the last 2+ years all I’ve wanted to do is hide. Not be seen.  Not noticed.  To disappear off the world’s radar.

Having discovered I’d failed so spectacularly at the one thing I thought I’d really succeeded at – marriage  – I  believed the best thing to do was vanish!

Now I’m re-emerging  I appear to have a burning desire to stand out in the crowd again.  To be the one everyone notices and notices in a good way.

I want to be the special one.  The one others gravitate to.  I appear to need a large dose of the limelight for a while.  Now don’t get me wrong I definitely do NOT want to steal anyone else’s share!  Absolutely not.  I just want mine back – plus some!

There seems to be a massive urgency as well.  Almost as though I’ve wasted the last 2 years hiding in my Mine. I know that’s not true.  The process was one I had no alternative but to go through. To experience and yes, sadly, to suffer, and to suffer like I’ve never suffered before.

But now I’m on the mend and part of finding my feet again is to be noticed – or so it seems!

And – in case you’re wondering – I’m not going to paint my legs orange!!!

5 thoughts on “Standing out in the crowd

  1. Good for you Caroline. Sometimes I catch myself and realise I am still hiding a bit so I love to hear of others prepared to ‘reappear’. Good luck and orange legs? Maybe not but those ducks do look well balanced there on the log!

  2. I love reading your stories, your path. You seem to always be just a few steps in front of me. And it makes me happy to know where i will reach eventually as I follow in your footsteps.
    I guess we all had that hiding stage. The one where we dont want to talk about it, or explain, be asked the hard questions and rehash the pain. Finally we stop blaming ourselves and we stop hiding.
    Im proud of you. Keep going. Keep mending.

    • Thank you everyone. Actually if I’m honest I had a mini-crash today, but I suppose that’s inevitable occasionally!! Those moments of self-doubt are bound to happen. But my determination is un-dimmed – I will pull through!!

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