I spent a while deciding what to call this post. Ideas ranged from “Bad habits die hard” to the one I’ve finally decided on.
However I do know that people who ‘win’ get there by making their mistakes faster and also “Don’t look back”. They accept – totally – that the situation they’re in is the situation there in and then work like crazy to move on to the next goal, to improve the situation, to try again, etc.
I do have a fairly competitive streak in me. Not necessarily to ‘win’ outright but to be successful. My problem with my current situation is that I keep wanting to be successful at the one thing that I can’t be.
This is where the other subject title of this post comes in. We all have bad habits. Be it smoking (not me), biting our nails (not me), swearing (me!), being over nostalgic (me!), over tenacious (me)…… I could go on! Breaking these destructive habits really is hard. They refuse to die. Ever since Alex left, and particularly since I started going to Life Coaching, I’ve felt as if I’m in a battle with me. On the one hand there’s the me who knows full well that the situation I’m in is the situation I’m in and the only way I’m going to change it is not to look back but forward. Then my sub-conscious wakes me at 4.00 in the morning and demands answers to masses of questions which are unlikely ever to be answered and even if they were would not actually improve the situation one iota, because the answers wouldn’t be the ones I want to have.
I do better when I’m busy and have things to do to take my mind off all the rubbish which hangs around in my mind just waiting for an opportunity to rush to the fore! I haven’t been busy this weekend. But that shouldn’t be a problem. I should be able to be at peace and happy even when I’m not busy! So I’ve been reminding myself of my Values, rules and my goals!
I know I’m getting there. I know I can be loved. I know I will be OK. I know I will ‘Win’. I just wish someone would tell my sub-conscious mind all this so it leaves me alone!!