I listen to the ‘heartbeat’ of my life which has carried on, never mind what. There through all the trauma and moments of horror, but also the moments when I’ve found happiness in the small everyday moments of my life as it continues to roll on regardless.
It’s stuck with me as I’ve raged at the injustice of all this. It’s been there with me as I’ve wanted, sarcastically, to congratulate that man on his brilliant ability to avoid anything he doesn’t want to face.
There too as I’ve found those moments of humour as I’ve stood back and laughed genuinely at some of the more bizarre and silly moments.
For my successes be they personal or when we won our campaign.
I listen to the heartbeat of my life in the early hours when I cannot sleep and the heartbeat of this sweet little house which seems to be protecting me against the outside world. Nurturing me back to being whole again.
I hear the heartbeat of the lives of my friends as they rally round, keeping me focused, comforting me in my more appalling moments and congratulating me as I climb what seems to be this endless ladder back to being who I am meant to be!
I sense the heartbeat of all my new internet friends as they bolster this blog with their comments and support. And to those who’ve made me giggle on the occasional FB chat (the donkeys in the desert with the dessert will remain with me for ever AJ!! – And btw where are you these days!).
The heartbeat of my life beats on. Beating louder as I regain my confidence and stop looking back at the ‘what might have been’s’
And tomorrow it will be stronger and better than today.