Why living by my values matters

My values matter because when I don’t live by them I spiral downhill. 

The fury abated in the end last night and  – with nothing better to do – I set off down the hurt route!!!   Blimey!   That was clever and so energising and enlivening I was exhausted by 9.00pm!!

I allowed myself to really ‘enjoy’ (more heavy sarcasm here) the evening.  I ‘ran’ my ‘figure of eight’ – several times last night, and again this morning.  At least this morning I chose the positive exit rather than the negative one I went down yesterday! 

So where do my Values come into all this. Well last night I didn’t live by them.  Let me explain.

My Default list is:

Growth – what I was doing last night was in no way growth orientated
Love – I didn’t love myself
Courage – I wimped out
Communication – I didn’t listen to either ‘my best friend me’ or ‘my coach me’
Intelligence – What I did last night could in no way be described as intelligent!
Trust – I failed to trust me
Respect – I showed no respect to me and what I’ve achieved so far
Strength – Hardly!
Security – OK I felt secure in my bad place
Adventure – need I say more
Significance – yes I gave myself significance but in a ‘sorry for me’ way not in a postive way.
Making a difference – No I wasn’t doing that at all.  In fact the opposite
Happiness – I failed spectacularly to be happy or to give myself Permission to be Happy.

So, dear reader, I hope this helps to explain why living by your values is so important. Because when you do the opposite life is grim!

Finally I think I’m beginning to Get It!  (*Can almost hear Stephen breathing sigh of relief!!!*)

5 thoughts on “Why living by my values matters

  1. It’s always so challenging when you try to live by a values system and see the people that have “wronged” you as gaining advantage all the time. In situations where affairs are involved this becomes maddening. It also evokes fear and from that anger springs forward. The temptation to jump from the wagon pulls and gnaws and the cycle of frustation amplifies.
    When I see X and J ….creating their new life together and involving my children it drives me stark raving mad. Then I see glimpses of justice. I see X’s blog and realize that she is still struggling with the same things as when we were married. I hear that he acts like a condescending ass to her sometimes.
    I was at my physician’s office yesterday (amazing that I have been to doctors more in the past year than at any time in my life..hmmm, I guess this stress thing is real). He became my Dr. just after X left me. As he practices in a holistic manner, we discussed early on what was going on in my life. We talked about the divorce etc and I mentioned J’s name over a year ago. Yesterday, out of the blue he asks ” this j that you mentioned, does he teach photography sometimes? ” I affirmed that and he replies…” I know him. He is an obnoxious fellow. Full of himself. Very arrogant. I began to take that class a few years ago but couldn’t stand him”
    This is a minor thing in life….but it was a small victory for me.
    By trying to live (and not always successfuly) my values, I can at least live with integrity. I know that I would have worked on out marriage. X chose not to.
    It’s so difficult sometimes. It’s a hard lesson.But in the end, there are fewer regrets.
    So….Good on You!! If you have not yet done so, try printing out your values and mission statement on a small wallet sized card and carry it with you. When the difficulty arises, pull it out and read your own words and advice.
    Peace to you

  2. Forgive yourself the lapse, if that’s what it was, and pick yourself up and get back on track. You don’t need me to tell you that because that’s what you’ll do any way. Hugs!

  3. I’ve got a bit lost as there seem to have been a few posts since I last popped in. What I gather is you blew your stack over the divorce paper fiasco and then settled down a bit. You are a fiesty and determined women and these reactiona are part of what you are. You are also a truely honest straightforward person who holds her hand up when you fall off the horse, but you always have the guts to get back on again.The way you pick yourself up after any setbacks is more impressive than you realise. We salute you

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