Just over a year ago when I started this blog I made a promise. In that first real post on 6 April (click) I not only promised I would be 100% honest on here, I made a promise I would find a route through.
The point is I promised this to ME. And having promised myself I knew I couldn’t break that promise. It was unbreakable. I had to stick to it regardless of how I felt, or how tough things got, because if I didn’t I would have failed myself.
There have been several occasions when the wish to give up has been so tempting. But my promise to me kept me going. That and the help I was getting.
Yesterday afternoon B rang me and said he would stick to his promise to me to work at his marriage. I told him his promise to me wasn’t the point – he needed to promise himself.
That’s the Real Promise. The one from which there is no escape. The one that is the hardest one to break, and the one which we all need to make when faced with tough times. The one we have to make to be totally committed to change, to face problems, to commit – you name it, it has to be there. Anything less doesn’t work. If we don’t then it’s too easy to cop out and give up when it all seems to be getting a bit too much – a bit difficult. When we feel we’re not getting what we deserve. Or when something else looks rather tempting.
Perhaps the marriage vows should be changed from:
“Do you promise to love her/him…..” to
“Do you promise yourself you will love her/him…….”
So my “Aphorism for today” is:
Until you can promise yourself you will never truly succeed.