Ludicrous chat-up lines!

Have faith Caroline in amongst the dross who seem to inhabit the Internet Dating scene there must be a few gems!  Perhaps they’re just bad at revealing themselves!  Maybe their honesty makes you pass them by.

Today’s new messages have been the usual stunning examples of internet dating dross – bearing in mind I’ve stated my age and the age range of people I could be interested in (50 – 66) and they must be within UK:

“Hi, my name is David, I’m 44.  Do you wear stockings?”

“Hi I’m Chris.  I’m looking for anything between 19 and 90”

“Hi, I’m 29 – you look as if you could be up for it”

“Do you believe in passionate love”

“Hi – I’ve said I live in the UK but actually I don’t I’m from the USA”

“What are you like in bed?”  (to which I have a burning desire to reply – “I’ve no idea I’m usually asleep – being as I’m on my own!”)

And never mind the requests to do things I categorically won’t!!!

They use the most ludicrous screen names too:  LuckyLips, LoveHungry, PoshBilly (well I suppose that one could have been worse he could’ve changed the B for a W!!)…..  and more! These from men in their late 50s and early 60s.

I tell you something, dear reader, it’s dire!!

I’m doing my best to find the humour in all this – I do laugh!  I am doing my best to  give it my best shot.  Not to be deterred!

but really all I want to shout into the ether is:

H E L P!!!!!

11 thoughts on “Ludicrous chat-up lines!

  1. Oh Caroline …l am crying with laughter … just read the replies out to my daughter and she thinks it’s worth your while joining just for the laughs ….. the stockings hahahaha …. so love it ….

    Thankyou for this we loved it … did you try the ‘my best friend’ one yet (((( HUGS )))) ❤ ❤ ❤

    • Yes I really do need to try “My Best Friend” – I’m going to get someone to do it for me!

      I am finding the other ones funny – probably for all the wrong reasons!!

      Maybe I shall write a book one day!

  2. Just a suggestion, but as internet dating sites seem to be a magnet for men (age irrelevant) just looking for a brief sexual encounter, perhaps you could give up using them (the sites, not the men, though you could maybe use one or two of those when and if you had the urge) 😛

    Love the subtle and thoughtful ‘you look as if you could be up for it’. I’m sure that guy would be a wonderful conversationalist!!

  3. “Hi – I’ve said I live in the UK but actually I don’t I’m from the USA”
    Now there’s a sure way of starting a relationship. Lie first then try to get out of it.
    Seems like this guy might have some issues, but could be a great story teller.

  4. Thanks for your sense of humor. Made me laugh. I like Buddha’s t-shirt recommendation. Your experience with duds confirmed what I already thought about internet dating. I’m not going there.

  5. I’m glad I made you all giggle!!!

    It is a trial this on-line dating! Still I shall soldier on. I have membership on three of them for a while yet!

    And I shall keep you all updated on the more impressive chat-up lines!

    • My dear Caroline,
      You really need to get someone to screen your responses!! Maybe you wouldn’t get disheartened if only the sincere ones came through? Just a thought! I enjoy reading your adventures. You are one brave and inspiring woman.
      xoxo… ooooxoxoox
      -S.
      P.S. Totally willing to be your editor! 😀 ❤ xo

  6. No but seriously Caroline, are you on the right dating sites? Not that there are right and wrong dating sites….but there must be some sites where you can find more serious people.

    This is funny to read, but I’m assuming its less amusing when you actually expect or want something more than just a momentary laugh.

  7. Well to be fair the one Stephen recommended is proving better – e-Harmony!!
    It’s Friends Over Fifty and UK Dating which seem to gather the more insane people of this world – and I’m dropping them as soon as I can!!! Even if it means my Book isn’t as rich in ‘chat up lines’!!

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