Phew! I’m beginning to feel safe again

The absence of ‘B’ from my emails, text and voicemails is such a release and a relief.  I hadn’t realised how scared, insecure and unsafe I’d begun to feel until all this stopped.

I haven’t heard anything from him since Wednesday night when he texted – and I ignored him.

It’s taken a few days for that feeling approaching terror to pass, but passing it is.  In fact last night I really enjoyed being in my little house again.  I opened the curtains and enjoyed the view.  I began to start to feel safe again.  It’s only now I realise how truly scared and trapped I’d felt.

What is scary though is how someone can suddenly ‘come on so strong’ – and with what felt to me a desire to rule my life, to take over and try and control and take charge of what I do.  And all in the name of caring and giving (his words).  I felt truly hounded. I felt as if he was trying to possess me.  I felt assaulted all over again – though he never touched me.

I felt I had to hide in my house with the curtains drawn in case he turned up.  OK I know I gave myself these feelings but his actions created them.

Hopefully as the days pass I will regain my composure and the  feeling of safety and security I need to have.  This has been a very un-nerving and extremely unsettling experience.  No wonder I’ve found sleep difficult!

14 thoughts on “Phew! I’m beginning to feel safe again

  1. Having missed some of you posts I am not sure why this person has been hounding you (I must read back) but whatever he reason, no-one has the right to try to exert control over another person. That he made you feel so bad, in the guise of caring is appalling.

    You didn’t give yourself those feeling, he created them. I truly hope you did tell him to F**k off, in no uncertain terms, or will do should he ever try to contact you again!

    I wonder what Stephen would say about being concerned about the welfare of a ‘blogging’ friend, who I have never met and probably never will. 🙂

    • He became ‘interested’ in me as he was one of the group involved in our campaign. I then became ‘his solution to all his woes’ – which I’m not. I seem to have stopped him in his tracks for now. I hope for good!

      Thank you for your concern. As Stephen is very much on-line at the moment he may comment – if he chooses to!

  2. Sorry to hear that Mr.B didn’t understand the boundaries, they’re pretty hard to miss,, when someone is telling you stop!!. I feel for Mrs. B who may be completely in the dark about her husbands irrational behavior, or sadly maybe she’s not.
    Good to see that the situation is getting back to the point that you feel better.
    Take care AJ

  3. Caroline,

    I am understanding what you’re talking about. It was that way with my first husband. It took me awhile after the divorce to realize way down deep that he didn’t own me. If I did it, you can do it too. You’ll get to a point where his interruption in your life won’t bother you and all you’ll is pity for him.

    • Ah. Probably a bit of confusion here. ‘B’ wasn’t my husband – B is someone I’ve only known for the last 6 months – married (on the rocks) who saw me as a solution to all his woes and then tried to take over my life and control me to satisfy his needs – not mine. Despite my protestations that I didn’t fancy him and never would he couldn’t believe I meant it and so became even more obsessive.

      But I totally understand where you’re coming from and I’m so glad you’ve found your route out. Felling safe again is so good.

      (Alex is my nearly ex-husband. A lot about him here!)

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