So What’s the Risk?

On Stephen’s recommendation I’ve also subscribed to Bob Proctor’s emails.

This morning I’ve received his email with the following quote:

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.
Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.  – Author William Arthur Ward

But as he goes on to say if we don’t take risks we don’t live:

“You may avoid suffering and sorrow if you don’t risk, but you simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. The greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing and has nothing. Only a person who risks is free.”

So what ‘bugs’ me is why didn’t those who have cheated on us by running to someone who they think is their new “solution” take the risk of “Reaching out and risking true involvement” – if they had they might have actually found the freedom to truly live.

And my answer:  Because taking risks takes courage.  Maybe our ‘cheaters’ lack courage.

We all need courage to take our individual risks to face our futures and truly live.

Working to success

“Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.”—Aristotle

Stephen (LC) gave me a list of people he recommended I read. Darren Hardy used this quote in his latest blog post , which I found very helpful. 

I believe what he says can be used in our every day lives and encounters to the good.  I think building positive emotions within ourselves is the starting point.  And probably for lots of people going through what I’ve been through this is the tough bit – I know it was/still can be for me. 

But I have two choices – to build a positive outlook for me or not. And actually the positive one is really the only one which will give me a brilliant future.

I hope you read it.  And if you do – I’d be interested to know what you think!

The Nightmare is over

Yes the nightmare is over.  As in the total horror of what I’ve been through over the last 2+ years.  I may still wobble and get those days when I want to cling to my past life BUT BUT BUT I know one of the reasons for wobbling is not having enough goals which grab my attention, hold my passion for life and fire me up with enthusiasm for a new future.

I know – with a passion – that what I’ve got now is not enough.  I know with a passion I want more. I know with a passion that my time on this planet has to be more important than this. That I have more to give than I have already. That the purpose of being me has to be more than solving office moves at work (for me – easy), fighting campaigns to save airfields (fun) or being outrageous when I want to be.

I know perfectly well that I can meet my need for adventures by joining holidays that go to the places I want to see so that isn’t the real problem.  I may have to wait until I have funds (and escape my close and growing relationship with the local garage!!) but I can meet that value on my own – as being on my own is where I am for now.

I have my small goals  – improving my french, piano playing…….  but these aren’t enough.

Because I’ve  found through all the inspirational Life Coaching I’ve had that Making a Difference is also an important Value for me (it’s in my Top 13) and actually just now it seems to be moving itself higher and higher up my list.  It could be one of the most fundamental values for me as just now meeting it  might finally get me Flying.

Something has to.  And it’s about time this blog title changed from “I’ve Survived, and I’m about to Fly”  To “I’m a Sensational Survivor and I’m Flying”

I just don’t know what to do next!  I know lots of things I don’t want to do – which my mother always used to say, when we were young, was a good start! – Now I need to find what will make me buzz and meet this important value for me head on.

And I have a sneaky suspicion if I can meet it head-on I will finally fly over the final hurdle of getting over the horror of what I’ve been through, without even noticing it was there.

And that’s what I want to do.

There are moments – Update!

Right now I want to shout to the ‘heavens’ and say “OK  so what did I do?”!!

The garage has just rung – and a very chirpy chappy told me that my car repair is going to cost £1330 (just over USD 2000).!

“@!IT”  and a few other expletives!!

This has made me feel all is right with the world I inhabit!!  I am – not to put too fine a point on it – ecstatic!!!!

As the saying goes “It’s life Jim  – but not as we know it!!”

Enjoy your day everyone!

Life Coaching – a summary!

Having an unexpected day at home due to my car deciding not to do what it’s designed to do,  I’ve used the time, I hope sensibly, to go over most of what I’ve learned over the last year.

So if you’re interested then do read on – and if you’re not that’s fine!  I don’t expect everyone to be!!

Stephen (LC) has introduced me to masses of different tools to improve my outlook on life and given me methods of focusing on my future.  Helping me find out who I am, who I want to be and discovering the ‘real me’

Initially I needed to see I really did have a future which could be what I wanted it to be.  To realise it was within me to create a future I wanted and to be in charge of that future rather than react to the circumstances I found myself in. The 6ft and 30 seconds exercise proved how fast I could change that outlook within me if I created it in my mind and  focused 100% on it.

So here, in summary, are some (but not all) the things I’ve learnt and how to use them to my advantage

(Most of the following headings are clickable to posts or pages I’ve written in the past – as this post is a summary of all the different tools I’ve been given I’ve not repeated them in full – so – if you’re interested then click away!)

Values

I found this incredibly difficult to grasp!  Don’t ask me why – I just did!  But I have my values on cards now and I can spend many an hour re-organising them.  I have my top ones and I now know the Rules I need to apply to them to meet each Value, not only for me but from others.  These are fundamental to everything.  These are the ones I would say to everyone are the ones which are so important to grasp and live by and are the backbone of his coaching  – the life raft to cling to and turn to.  I tend to re-order them as time moves on – which is good – after all that’s the idea – to move forward!

The figure of Eight

Understanding how I do this and then spotting when I run it is very important.  I do still do it. Though less and less and – mostly – now I can bring myself out of it on a positive when I do fall into the trap.

The Focus Triangle

What you focus on is what you get. So if you’re inner voice is giving you positive vibes and you stand tall and straight then the future is much more positive than slouching and letting your inner voice give you negatives.

For Every Negative list 10 positives

I didn’t stick at this one and rather wish I had.  I should do it more as it’s so simple and is great for focusing the mind!  And I was supposed to give myself a reward when I kept clear of negatives for – I think – 10 days in a row!  Well it’s never too late so perhaps I should start doing that now!

The Different Versions of Me

I’ve learned that we all have different versions of ourselves which we bring into ‘play’ in different situations and environments. Actually understanding them and the power they hold and feeling comfortable with them has been vitally important.

Strengths

Reading the book Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath.  At the back of the book you get a code which you feed in on the website and then carry out an assessment.  It has really helped to understand what my top 5 strengths are and how using them in conjunction with others – who have different strengths –  will get the best from a situation

Being my own Life Coach

Realising I’m my own best friend and that I can give myself advice and also become my own Life Coach and help myself that way too.

The feminine Me

To find and understand that my strength lies in being feminine was an important and vital step

Goals

Stephen gave me a very valuable list on setting goals, but also showed me what happens when the goal isn’t good enough. (see diagram)  A small goal requires small action – which then gives a small result and so gives me  ‘proof’ that I can’t achieve anything fantastic. So it’s important to set high goals which require massive action as the results will be better and the proof of achievement also greater.

So re-reading my ‘Goals’ of earlier this week for my Dream Future they need to be greater and bigger and better – and more focused!  Playing the piano and learning French maybe and are important to me but they are hardly Goals in the bigger picture!! Even saying I want to be a better photographer isn’t a goal!  After all I’ll be better by learning one small technique.

I definitely need better Goal Setting!!

Summary

This is just some of what I’ve learnt and what Stephen has guided me through.  There has been a great deal more!  What I really do need to do now is use all the tools I’ve been given.

I need to do my homework and my homework is my life!

Am I right Stephen‽‽

There are moments….

There are moments when I could just scream at the world and say “Why?”

I got within 4 miles of home this evening and my car dashboard lit up like a Christmas Tree with dire warnings of “Engine Malfunction”.  Warning alarms sounded.  A nasty looking yellow light came on too!

The car started to lose power.  It was raining……

I kept going – as the car hadn’t stopped – I limped home.

On reaching home –  inspection of the manual revealed I should have probably stopped immediately. Well I didn’t!

Now this week is mega busy as I am supposed to be throwing myself – ‘hook-line-and-sinker’ into the great office move-round. 12 days work without a break!  Well I’m not going anywhere tomorrow!  So my 70 mile commute isn’t happening tomorrow.

I’ve already phoned everyone and told them not to expect me and now I’ll have to chat up the garage and get them to look at it as a matter of urgency!  They’re not good at urgent.

So I’ll no doubt have to hire a car to get me to and fro from work.  And the really irritating thing is – it was booked in for a service on Thursday!

BU**ER.

I suppose I should be thankful it happened 4 miles from home – it could have been a great deal worse. And I am thankful!

But sometimes it would be nice to have a man around to look after me and help!  I’ve come over all weepy and pathetic!!