Limbo Land

There are two fantastic things about blogging (well there are probably more!  But there are, for me, two top bonuses!).

The first is the support. The great comments: The encouragement, the understanding and sympathy, the challenging ones, the discussions, the different views on various posts, the coaching ones (thanks Stephen).  All of which help massively and remind me I’m not alone.  And even though I started this blog so I could support myself and remind myself of my goal the reality has been so much more than I’d ever imagined, as in moments of doubt  – which, as you know dear reader have been somewhat frequent –  I now feel that not only must I not let myself down but neither must I let you down, by ‘failing’.

The second is the blog itself.  The posts and the history the posts themselves have created.  The different stages I’ve been through and the emotions I’ve had.  So I can now look back and see how far I’ve come, see those different stages from where I am now.  Remind myself of those moments of clarity and hope. That I can and will re-capture my future.

And what my future needs is adventure.  As I wrote a few months ago adventure is what I need.  My problem at the moment is I can’t afford great adventures.  So somewhere along the line, until I can, I need to create some little adventures!

I learnt a great deal last weekend.  Don’t get me wrong I had a fun time. I enjoyed the company of those I already knew.  But actually going on an almighty ‘piss up’ isn’t really me!  And I struggled to find things in common with the majority of the people there.  Our only link was one Radio 2 show and its presenter! I felt like a bystander and I have a shrewd suspicion I behaved like one which probably didn’t endear me to my fellows. If it hadn’t been the presence of one particular couple who I’ve known for a while I think I might have ‘bolted’!

So I feel a bit like a teenager all over again flailing around searching for the right adventures!  Which is also why I feel in Limbo Land.  And Limbo Land is not a great place to be as I then hark back to my past and what I had with Alex (which was lots of great adventures!).

So yes, before Stephen (Life Coach) reminds me – yet again – that I do this to myself (which I DO KNOW!), I need to stop looking back and wishing, and keep looking forward and wishing  – and taking action!

I need to treat Limbo Land as my launching pad and re-capture my future.  But I have to say it’s somewhat difficult and harder than I imagined. I’m very impressed by those who’ve done it. But those who have at least give me hope that I can too – even if it appears to be taking me a great deal longer than it did for them.

So what did you do dear reader to create and re-capture your future? Am I missing a trick?  How did you fire yourself out of Limbo Land and grab your future with both hands?

15 thoughts on “Limbo Land

  1. You have just done it? The answer is to ask great questions, questions that lead you to solutions and a future.

    Your “what if and how could he” questions can only keep you stuck and lead you in to a place of no hope, a place where you won’t be loved.

    Good for you!

    • Thank you! I just wish I felt I had. I wish I could stop hankering for the past. Wanting what I’ve got now but with him too – because that would be one fantastic future. And – before you say it!! – I know that is backwards looking!!

      • Knowing what to do is not your power here. Taking action is! You know if you stay in the past you will get love from those that love you and feel for you. But that is not the love you really want, is it?

        Ask you self questions that empower you to grow because the love you want can only be created on that journey, down that path.

        So what do you choose?

  2. You are right. The love I get from staying stuck is wonderful but I want more. I want the love I will get by taking action because that will be even more than I am getting now – because they will also be pleased for me as I will be the true me with my true future and my true present. And they will love me for having had the courage to do what I know I have to do.

    I just wish it wasn’t so difficult. Emotions are a killer!!! That’s what’s holding me up! I need my ‘hard-drive’ wiped clean!! (Sorry for yet another analogy!)

    • You need your hard drive so you can learn from your past.

      So help those that are reading this, what great questions can help you to lead you forward to a future you really want.

      If you do this you will help those understand how to claim back their lives too.

      By example you will support them and love them all as I know you do.

      • In answer to your question! Sometimes I want to abdicate and announce to the world (and you) “I don’t know”! But I also know that isn’t true!

        I need to remind myself to live true to the ‘me’ I’ve now found. To respect and trust myself. I need to set myself some good goals which will push me but also be achievable. They must be ones I really want.

        So my questions should be – I think – What can I do to give myself a future which is the one I want. “What can I do – for me – to make me happy”.

        I know one of the things I hate is being on my own. So one of my questions should be “What can I do to give me a future where I am no longer on my own”.

        I need adventure. It seems to be very high on my list of needs these days. I need something to look forward to as at the moment all I see is unrelenting, unchanging sameness. So I need to plan some adventures. Cheap mini-adventures.

        So another of my questions should be, maybe “What do I actually need and want to make my life what I want and need it to be” and “What do I need to do to get it.”

        Though I still feel I’m missing something! Am I?

        It is this almost ‘conviction’ that I haven’t quite hit the nail on the head that leaves me wondering if I’ve ‘got it right’. So have I?

  3. That is a great start.

    So when you look at those questions what actions are needed to take you towards them?

    What do you have to do specifically and when are you going to do them by.

    Remember this will be a public commitment to your own goals.

    So what we need is…
    1. define the action
    2. The date that action would be completed by.

    Everyone is willing you on.

    • See, dear reader, I don’t get the chance to short-change myself do I! I’m not allowed to! (*has slight wish she hadn’t entered into this discussion!* ;))

      1. Book an adventure. To be done by mid October
      2. Meet more people. This is a difficult one as I don’t seem to be achieving this despite being on 3 internet dating sites. All I seem to attracting are men who want ‘housekeepers’!!! Or a stack of sex-starved ‘men’ who want……… (well you get my drift!)

      There are probably more goals I need to set myself but just now I can’t think of any!

      *Has shrewd suspicion I’m about to be challenged!*

      • We really need to hear the goals that will fill you up with all you desire. If you were to be the master of your future what would that future look like?

        Share with us now your vision, we no longer want to watch you “survive” we want to see you live your dream and turn those dreams into real goals.

        I want to be so excited by your vision and what you are about to do that I can run group sessions across the country using you as the model of success.

  4. Apart from anything else I have been to those gatherings where you find it hard to connect with people and I find them rather trying. I am pleased that you had one couple to keep you going and gain some enjoyment from it. I also agree that your Blog serves as a great history and reminder of the progress you’ve made. You learn from other people, but you also give them encouragement with your amazing ability to “pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and start all over again. Good on you

  5. Hello, dear reader, I’m about to get in my car and drive to my next life coaching session!

    Clearly between now and then I need to have really thought about my great future as I don’t want to let myself down and I do want to succeed – and he’s right – I want more than just ‘survival’!

    I will return – in a few hours!! 😀

  6. OK I’m back!!!

    As predicted I was challenged!! And I found myself ‘wanting’ as the saying goes.
    My first attempt at goals was – I now agree (Stephen) a bit of a mediocre wash out!!!

    I want goals which are going to set my life on fire. Which I am so keen to pursue that I don’t want to go to bed at night because life is so exciting awake.

    And I don’t need to wait until ‘mid October’. I can start tomorrow, or even tonight! I can make every day a mini-adventure if I so wish!!

    I will write more tomorrow! But all I can say, for now, is thank you Stephen for pointing me in a better direction – actually a great direction!

    And when I succeed in getting this amazing future I’m now going to grab I challenge you to run those group sessions across the country using me as the model of success!!

    Is it a deal??? 🙂

  7. I want to second counting ducks and Stephen is saying, you truly are an inspiration for readers out there. So much so that it motivated to take the same path as you regarding life coaching, because reading your blog I suddenly thought: wow, she must be smoking some good shit (;)only joking), no I thought wow, I want to be like her! 🙂 xx

  8. Limbo Land–You’re no longer where you were and not yet where you want to be. If Limbo is midway on the continuum, you are well past Limbo, IMO. Keep going. You’re inspiring so many of us.

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