Life Coaching – a summary!

Having an unexpected day at home due to my car deciding not to do what it’s designed to do,  I’ve used the time, I hope sensibly, to go over most of what I’ve learned over the last year.

So if you’re interested then do read on – and if you’re not that’s fine!  I don’t expect everyone to be!!

Stephen (LC) has introduced me to masses of different tools to improve my outlook on life and given me methods of focusing on my future.  Helping me find out who I am, who I want to be and discovering the ‘real me’

Initially I needed to see I really did have a future which could be what I wanted it to be.  To realise it was within me to create a future I wanted and to be in charge of that future rather than react to the circumstances I found myself in. The 6ft and 30 seconds exercise proved how fast I could change that outlook within me if I created it in my mind and  focused 100% on it.

So here, in summary, are some (but not all) the things I’ve learnt and how to use them to my advantage

(Most of the following headings are clickable to posts or pages I’ve written in the past – as this post is a summary of all the different tools I’ve been given I’ve not repeated them in full – so – if you’re interested then click away!)

Values

I found this incredibly difficult to grasp!  Don’t ask me why – I just did!  But I have my values on cards now and I can spend many an hour re-organising them.  I have my top ones and I now know the Rules I need to apply to them to meet each Value, not only for me but from others.  These are fundamental to everything.  These are the ones I would say to everyone are the ones which are so important to grasp and live by and are the backbone of his coaching  – the life raft to cling to and turn to.  I tend to re-order them as time moves on – which is good – after all that’s the idea – to move forward!

The figure of Eight

Understanding how I do this and then spotting when I run it is very important.  I do still do it. Though less and less and – mostly – now I can bring myself out of it on a positive when I do fall into the trap.

The Focus Triangle

What you focus on is what you get. So if you’re inner voice is giving you positive vibes and you stand tall and straight then the future is much more positive than slouching and letting your inner voice give you negatives.

For Every Negative list 10 positives

I didn’t stick at this one and rather wish I had.  I should do it more as it’s so simple and is great for focusing the mind!  And I was supposed to give myself a reward when I kept clear of negatives for – I think – 10 days in a row!  Well it’s never too late so perhaps I should start doing that now!

The Different Versions of Me

I’ve learned that we all have different versions of ourselves which we bring into ‘play’ in different situations and environments. Actually understanding them and the power they hold and feeling comfortable with them has been vitally important.

Strengths

Reading the book Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath.  At the back of the book you get a code which you feed in on the website and then carry out an assessment.  It has really helped to understand what my top 5 strengths are and how using them in conjunction with others – who have different strengths –  will get the best from a situation

Being my own Life Coach

Realising I’m my own best friend and that I can give myself advice and also become my own Life Coach and help myself that way too.

The feminine Me

To find and understand that my strength lies in being feminine was an important and vital step

Goals

Stephen gave me a very valuable list on setting goals, but also showed me what happens when the goal isn’t good enough. (see diagram)  A small goal requires small action – which then gives a small result and so gives me  ‘proof’ that I can’t achieve anything fantastic. So it’s important to set high goals which require massive action as the results will be better and the proof of achievement also greater.

So re-reading my ‘Goals’ of earlier this week for my Dream Future they need to be greater and bigger and better – and more focused!  Playing the piano and learning French maybe and are important to me but they are hardly Goals in the bigger picture!! Even saying I want to be a better photographer isn’t a goal!  After all I’ll be better by learning one small technique.

I definitely need better Goal Setting!!

Summary

This is just some of what I’ve learnt and what Stephen has guided me through.  There has been a great deal more!  What I really do need to do now is use all the tools I’ve been given.

I need to do my homework and my homework is my life!

Am I right Stephen‽‽

11 thoughts on “Life Coaching – a summary!

  1. Yes the question is how do I create the state and focus that will serve me in my quest to getting the life I desire.

    The goals need to be really exciting to create motivation and the blocks/fears to acheiving the goals need to become the enemy.

    Knowing what you want and why you want it is critical.

    From here the path to success can be created.

    Remember there is a plan for everything, your job is to unearth the vision and then the plan.

    A bigger question would be who do I have to become to get the life I desire?

    • Right!

      So to get the life I desire I have to be fearless. I have to focus on my future. Yes my goals need to be so inspiring and fun that I don’t have time to even give a thought to my past.

      I have to enjoy the freedom I now have. To celebrate being single and having the chance to do what I want, when I want.

      I have a suspicioin I’ve said this before

      So What Do I want? What is my real core vision? I think I’ve been walking round the edge of my vision so I lose heart rather quickly as it really doesn’t seem enough!

      So as you say my job now is to unearth my vision.

      Until I know that and by that I mean Really Know That I can’t have a plan for it

      • So the vision/goal has to be what do I really want to experience in my future?

        Create a passion to understand your life purpose your reason for being on this planet. What could you be and do that would impress you.

  2. I want to experience true happiness. I want to have fun. I want to have adventures. I want to give (but just now I don’t know how or who to or why or what!). I want to make a difference – somehow and somewhere.

    I want to be loved. And I want to be loved by a Real Man!

    I want to share my life.

    As to what could I be and do that would impress me. I don’t know just now. I know I want to impress myself though.

    Good grief! This is where I find myself searching for something but I don’t know what.

    Does that make any sense???

    • Do you want to use your energy to make a difference?

      How can you use all those amazing skills to become important to something or someone?

      Think about it, was being Mrs xxx to your ex your real mission or life purpose?

      Or are you worth ten times, or one hundred times, or one thousand times that?

      The nightmare is over and now it’s time to connect with real dreams and turn those into reality.

      Every day counts don’t waste one ever!

      • In answer to your questions:

        Do you want to use your energy to make a difference? YES

        How can you use all those amazing skills to become important to something or someone? By being me

        Think about it, was being Mrs xxx to your ex your real mission or life purpose? Well it was at the time but it isn’t now!

        Or are you worth ten times, or one hundred times, or one thousand times that? I’m worth 1,000 times that. (No point in short-changing myself!!)

        Yes the nightmare is over. I agree. I’m just a bit short of dreams! OK that sounds negative. And I don’t mean it to.

        Yes every day counts and I don’t want to waste them. I just feel a bit confused as to what to do next.

        And before you remind me I know CONFUSION IS GOOD!!!

  3. Caroline,

    You make a lot of sense here and I think it’s great that you are willing to share this stuff. I don’t have a life coach but really value the information and insights you post. I was particularly drawn to ‘the different versions of me’ – that makes a lot of sense and got me thinking. Thanks for the nudge!

    Jacqueline

    • My pleasure and I’m glad you’ve found it useful. I’ve written quite a lot about the different versions of me – if you want to know more you may need to search my blog for all the posts on the subject!

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