The Nightmare is over

Yes the nightmare is over.  As in the total horror of what I’ve been through over the last 2+ years.  I may still wobble and get those days when I want to cling to my past life BUT BUT BUT I know one of the reasons for wobbling is not having enough goals which grab my attention, hold my passion for life and fire me up with enthusiasm for a new future.

I know – with a passion – that what I’ve got now is not enough.  I know with a passion I want more. I know with a passion that my time on this planet has to be more important than this. That I have more to give than I have already. That the purpose of being me has to be more than solving office moves at work (for me – easy), fighting campaigns to save airfields (fun) or being outrageous when I want to be.

I know perfectly well that I can meet my need for adventures by joining holidays that go to the places I want to see so that isn’t the real problem.  I may have to wait until I have funds (and escape my close and growing relationship with the local garage!!) but I can meet that value on my own – as being on my own is where I am for now.

I have my small goals  – improving my french, piano playing…….  but these aren’t enough.

Because I’ve  found through all the inspirational Life Coaching I’ve had that Making a Difference is also an important Value for me (it’s in my Top 13) and actually just now it seems to be moving itself higher and higher up my list.  It could be one of the most fundamental values for me as just now meeting it  might finally get me Flying.

Something has to.  And it’s about time this blog title changed from “I’ve Survived, and I’m about to Fly”  To “I’m a Sensational Survivor and I’m Flying”

I just don’t know what to do next!  I know lots of things I don’t want to do – which my mother always used to say, when we were young, was a good start! – Now I need to find what will make me buzz and meet this important value for me head on.

And I have a sneaky suspicion if I can meet it head-on I will finally fly over the final hurdle of getting over the horror of what I’ve been through, without even noticing it was there.

And that’s what I want to do.

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