One of the difficulties I’ve had is to find my motivator to change. To focus totally and utterly on my future. To stop looking back and wishing. To march towards my ‘sunrise’. To have a goal which grabs me with such verve that I can’t wait to succeed.
Yesterday Stephen posted on his blog “Why is it this way?”. He suggests that even when we have proof that new ways work we stop following them, that we become blind.
I don’t think I agree totally! I feel it could be that old habits die hard. That we want to change but get a bit bogged down in being the way we were! After all it’s what we were used to. Change is tough at times and even when we see it works it can be so easy to ‘take our eye off the ball’.
Anyway as usual his blog post has given me food for thought. I know I’m not meeting my expectations of me. That I keep putting off doing anything for another day. That I convince myself I have enough going on at the moment and so I’m OK. Except I’m not OK – not totally. I’ve always said here that I want more (of something). That what I have now is not meeting all my needs.
But I’ve discovered something in me this week which gives me an immense buzz. On several occasions this week I’ve listened to various friends and acquaintances pour out their woes over their marriage disasters, sitting here with me in my little house. I’ve listened and suggested ideas. I hope I’ve never advised!! I hope I’ve helped. One of them said to me yesterday that I’d really helped, that since chatting to me earlier this week he’s felt a great deal better, calmer and more focused! I’m truly touched.
Perhaps I should investigate doing this. I have no qualifications in this whatsoever. I have no idea what qualifications I should go for, except I know I don’t want to do psychology. But just writing about this has brought a smile to my face and a feeling that maybe this is it! That maybe this is what will give me my ‘more‘.