On the one hand I’m finding the subject fascinating. The more I read the more I want to know.
But, and this is rather a big but, it’s also painful. Painful realising that if I’d known a lot of this before and Alex had too then maybe things would have been different.
But it was because we didn’t that I’ve ended up in my ‘now’ and that includes finding out I’m interested in something that would never have occured to me before!
I still read Stephen’s blog posts avidly as I find them fascinating. Even if each one is a stab through my heart as I read how he helps couples get their marriages back on track and it was too late for us.
But I want to learn and not only learn from my mistakes, but also learn from the experts how they apply all the techniques they have at their ‘finger tips’ – so I’ll carry on reading and ride out the pain.
It’s tough though!
By the way it was brought home to me yesterday how much integrity there is in Stephen’s approach and coaching. No ‘signing up’ for months and months, or years and years to be coached for ever! Not like the treatment this person received from a psychoanalyst! (click to read!). Which in my view is just totally unethical. People in trouble are very vulnerable and will grab at anything to remove the pain. It is, in my view, a fundamental duty of the therapist to ensure the client is treated with respect. And that includes not spinning out the therapy to suit the therapist.
Anyway I need to keep focused and not look back! Perhaps I need to buy some blinkers! Though probably that’s not a ‘good look’!
My ex sister-in-law (whom I’m very fond of) emailed me today giving me news of Alex and the OW (whom she dislikes!), and my niece and nephew who I’m very fond of (I suppose that should be ex-niece and nephew!!). So it’s been a bit tough thinking about them…… and all the other stuff. Hearing what they’ll be doing at Christmas….. I feel a bit left out!!
So now for some planning so I don’t!