I’ve bowed to pressure!

Sometimes it’s better to bow out!  And I have.

An email from the other brother backing H’s view tipped the balance.  Especially when – in his predicted CEO style- he started on about charity and being cordial.  Not to mention that he felt that morally the agreement had been fulfilled if not legally.

Though why I always get the giggles when he starts pontificating on about “What our father” would have wanted is a side to me that’s baffling!   You see I always want to add on “Who art in heaven” each time he says it!!  And somehow reading each sentence as “Our father, who art in heaven, would have wished……..”  makes it all funny!!  Especially when each sentence is so pompous!!

So dear reader I’ve done what I’ve done.  Thank you all so much for your stupendous support.  Which I know I appear not to have taken! But it was incredibly useful as it helped me think,  Thank you to Stephen for ringing me and listening as I talked it through!

So my decision has cost me financially.  And not cost them.  So in a way that gives me a certain dignity (just!).  And love (for me).

But I  wonder what the cost to them is.  Have they retained my respect for them?  Good question.  Have they retained Trust?  Another good point.

Have they got my Love?  Ah now there’s a question?

Will they think about any of these things?  No of course they won’t.  Not now.  But maybe one day.

Will they feel good in the long run.  Who knows.  I’m not them.  They will be who they want to be.

Will I forgive them.  Yes probably one day.  Not now.  It’s too soon.  But I probably won’t forget!   Fortunately this will be the last time we are forced to communicate with each other.  Once the sale of the final property goes through.  Wow do we need a buyer and a buyer big time!   A bonused banker is what we need who wants to invest in a pad in the country!

Then when the dust settles I believe I can at least be friends again with my other brother.  H has too many issues regarding me.  He will have to sort those out in his mind before he can be friends with me.  And my guess is he never will!

What difference will this make to my life.  Well in terms of seeing my 2 brothers not a lot.  We don’t see each other a great deal anyway.  And usually only when there’s a family event!  Last time we got together was my 60th birthday party – which they walked out of in favour of the pub across the road where they remained until after midnight rather than mix with me and my lovely friends.  So you see dear reader, we can hardly claim to be close!!

10 thoughts on “I’ve bowed to pressure!

  1. Giving in when you feel you are in the right is really tough to do. I have mixed feelings about it, in your case as well as the things I have conceded in the sake of “peace”. Why does it seem that the unreasonable “win” though?
    Ideally you made your decision on what was best for your needs and wants and if keeping peace makes you mentally stronger and more internally fulfilled…then great.
    The phrase though, “…But I probably won’t forget! “, gives me pause about it.
    Is this going to be the mantle of sacrifice that you hold out and cling to?
    It is raw right now. I know. Raw, hurtful and there is a betrayal in there too.
    I hope that you find the mental resolution to this wound.
    Peace to you
    LFBA

  2. Wow! They must have some ‘umph’ between them to have made you change you’re mind so quickly. A CEO who doesn’t understand or recognise the terms ‘legal’ and agreement is somewhat worrying.

    I hope that this does not cause you any hardship. You’re brothers do not really seem to care one way or the other, perhaps it’s for the best not to have further contact with them for a good long while.

    Hugs.
    K

    • It was very long, very pompous and very very dreary.

      I just couldn’t face any more emails like that. Apart from the time wading through his long winded sentences it was being made to feel as if I was a failing employee who he was disappointed with!!

      There’s only so much a girl can take!!!

  3. The I won’t forget wasn’t written in bitterness or hate – more a wry smile and a grin!!

    Yes I feel a bit hurt. Hurt that they see me as an inconvenience in their lives. Especially my older brother H. My younger brother is usually more relaxed and kinder but I think he got swept into the angst and didn’t want to demean H by taking my side. He’s always gone for the easy way out – and easy for him is to be involved as little as possible.

    I’m sad for both of them. If they both had more generosity of spirit then this discussion would never have happened. The Agreement would have been stuck to and we’d all be getting on a great deal better. So H has caused the problem by being rather mean and scrooge like!

  4. I like your post, but dislike that this happened. Sadly, it happens all the time. I have one sister and one brother. My brother died about 9 years ago, and it made me look hard at relationships. I wish I had told him one more time I love him, and let go a lot of the small stuff. I have worked to make sure the sister and I stay close. Money is never worth relationships. I’m glad you feel good about your decision. Sometimes that’s the most important thing.

  5. I think the important thing in all of this is that you made your decision for you. I’m sorry that your brothers put you under so much pressure. Shame on them really.

  6. What is the currency in life?

    Being right?
    Winning?

    For some secuirty or trust are most important. They then live a life of distortion.

    Their worlds become smaller and they never feel free.

    Understanding your currency will give you all you need so values such as security are a result of what’s more important to you.

    Caroline has understood this principal very well.

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