Yes I’m just back from my 2hr session with Stephen.
I had my trusty list with me of all the questions I’d noted since deciding to become a life coach back last December! Stephen was very helpful in going through the list and giving me answers to all my queries.
We also worked through the personal stuff I knew I needed to deal with and be coached through. And yes it’s helped no end. I couldn’t have done this on my own. I knew I needed to be guided through it by someone who knew what to do and who I had total trust in, and this time I felt ready to do it. Ready to face what I needed to face and totally willing to allow the changes I needed to be put in place, to happen. Going back through it in my mind was very emotional & for a while very tough. But as I say 100% necessary for me. I nearly ‘chickened out’ but Stephen didn’t let me (which I was relying on – I had to be certain he’d guide me through and not allow me to give up). I had a weep, but a necessary weep. I needed to cry. And now I have an amazing feeling of release. I can actually say 15 (the age when I was sexually molested) and not shudder at the number any more – and that’s an incredible feeling.
So thank you Stephen. I had several moments of dithering when I attempted to divert you away from what I knew had to be done but was scared to face! Thank you for sticking to your guns and guiding me through it all. It was good! I hope it was a good coaching moment for you too!!
I have been thinking about this for the last few minutes having just read Stephen’s post this morning. It’s worth reading dear reader! If nothing else it’s very thought provoking!
We covered some of this in the NLP course so I am aware of what we all do to ourselves. And yes over the last few days I’ve been working hard at dealing with some emotions which resurfaced as a result of my meeting with Alex on Wednesday.
I find it fascinating what the unconscious sometimes triggers. For instance yesterday, totally unexpectedly – as I was in the middle of organising the renovation of the Reception area at work – I suddenly found myself missing my wedding ring. My ring finger felt all wrong. The feeling of my missing ring was incredibly powerful. Now where’s that come from? What is my unconscious firing at me for me to pay attention to. The feeling still hasn’t gone away! Now that’s so odd as I haven’t noticed this for months and months!! Bizarre.
Still I can always discuss this with Stephen this afternoon. How we’re going to pack all I want to talk to him about into 2 hrs is a mystery!!
It doesn’t take a lot for the great British calm-in-a-crisis attitude to crack!
With the threat of a possible fuel-tanker drivers’ strike in the offing a large number of the population have lost all sight of reason and are now filling their vehicles to bursting point. Fuel cans have been dusted down and filled.
Petrol stations have run out or adopted a rationing strategy. The Police have been called in to manage the traffic…….. It’s war on the forecourt!
And the strike isn’t for another week at the earliest!!
The Government and Media haven’t helped with their panic headlines!
I knew we were doomed earlier in the week when someone on the radio advised people NOT to adopt a panic-buying strategy! So that fixed the idea firmly in the minds of all listening!
And Moi? Well I had to hunt down fuel this morning (I need it to do my 140 mile commute!). So I did a little light queuing on my way to work today! The man two cars in front (who looked as though he’d got out of bed especially to visit the petrol station and would be heading back home after his mission), filled his car and then several very suspect cans! And I bet he stays in all weekend rather than risk venturing out and actually using any of this precious commodity he now has in abundance!!
The great thing is that with most cars in the country now full of fuel the petrol stations will be quiet next week!
I’ve just had the results of my course assessment day! I passed and I passed with excellent feedback comments.
So now the real work begins! I need to find clients! I need to practice and I need to study more!!
But I am feeling rather pleased with myself! And I needed a boost today. Some of the emotions of yesterday are creeping in rather.
This has been on the cards for some time and happened this afternoon.
How Alex felt about the meeting I, of course, have no idea. All I know is that from my point of view it was very pleasant and lovely to see him. He stayed for nearly two hours and we chatted about lots of things – including a great deal on NLP!. We kept clear of anything emotional right to the end when he asked me to keep in touch. Well he knows where I am so that’s down to him.
How do I feel now? A bit numb. A bit sad. Do I still find him fancyable? Yes! Which is a tad annoying. I’d planned on not!!
There are probably a whole stack of other emotions which could be hiding waiting to come to the fore. Anger is still not one of them.
I’m going out for a curry this evening. Which is a very good thing!
My future beckons – and I’m moving towards it.
Tomorrow is another day.
A while back some of you may remember I wrote about Reaction. The sad moment when my close friend confirmed my suspicions that she was against me taking the path I am. As I’ve said before, she was against me going to Life Coaching to ‘get me out of my Chilean Mine’. She was even very dismissive when it worked!! In fact she appears to be against any form of help if it doesn’t centre round psychology (in which she is trained). She did, without meaning to I’m sure, cause me quite a difficult time with a number of our mutual friends as she had clearly been encouraging them to side with her against what I was doing. She also did this without finding out anything about what I was actually doing or who was coaching me! I am sure she did it for the best of reasons from her point-of-view. But also, maybe, from a position of uncertainty, insecurity and fear within her. I can’t judge her motives. None of us are in a position to judge others.
A few weeks ago she ‘had another go’ at me and got quite unkind. Dismissed my friendly chat on reading matter and began justifying why she didn’t need to read! And like all people when they know deep down that maybe they haven’t behaved as well as they might she then retreated and kept herself to herself!!
But life changes!! She has recently been on an 8-day NLP course with her husband. which, interestingly she found incredibly hard work(!). We chatted about it and about the various techniques and what extras I got on my 13 day one!! She was friendly and tentatively, I think, waving an olive branch! I suspect her husband has had a hand in her change of heart (he’s very sensible!). I’m glad. I don’t want to know what has caused the shift. I just hope it lasts and whatever was causing this huge amount of angst and fear has now been sorted out. I’ve continued to be friendly. I’ve given back a good dose of love. Friends are important! She sounded relieved that I’ve been so friendly!! Of course I am she’s stopped trying to Control me!!!
And as we all know, dear reader, Control seldom works!!
So next stop my 2 brothers!!! Now that indeed will be something to see!!
BTW I’m not holding my breath!!!