An Olive branch – maybe

A while back some of you may remember I wrote about Reaction.  The sad moment when my close friend confirmed my suspicions that she was against me taking the path I am. As I’ve said before, she was against me going to Life Coaching to ‘get me out of my Chilean Mine’.  She was even very dismissive when it worked!!  In fact she appears to be against any form of help if it doesn’t centre round psychology (in which she is trained).  She did, without meaning to I’m sure, cause me quite a difficult time with a number of our mutual friends as she had clearly been encouraging them to side with her against what I was doing.  She also did this without finding out anything about what I was actually doing or who was coaching me!  I am sure she did it for the best of reasons from her point-of-view.  But also, maybe, from a position of uncertainty, insecurity and fear within her.  I can’t judge her motives.  None of us are in a position to judge others.

A few weeks ago she ‘had another go’ at me and got quite unkind. Dismissed my  friendly chat on reading matter and began justifying why she didn’t need to read!  And like all people when they know deep down that maybe they haven’t behaved as well as they might she then retreated and kept herself to herself!!

But life changes!!  She has recently been on an  8-day NLP course with her husband.  which, interestingly she found incredibly hard work(!). We chatted about it and about the various techniques and what extras I got on my 13 day one!!  She was friendly and tentatively, I think, waving an olive branch!  I suspect her husband has had a hand in her change of heart (he’s very sensible!).  I’m glad.  I don’t want to know what has caused the shift.  I just hope it lasts and whatever  was causing this huge amount of angst and fear has now been sorted out.  I’ve continued to be friendly.  I’ve  given back a good dose of love.  Friends are important!  She sounded relieved that I’ve been so friendly!!  Of course I am she’s stopped trying to Control me!!!

And as we all know, dear reader, Control seldom works!!

So next stop my 2 brothers!!!   Now that indeed will be something to see!!

BTW  I’m not holding my breath!!!

6 thoughts on “An Olive branch – maybe

  1. She was probably sceptical about the whole process. Talking to strangers about your intimate traumas and experiences is a difficult thing indeed, and finding someone who merits your openess in this way is probably harder. You were driven to it by your breakup, and have been lucky in your choice of coach. She was probably sceptical in the first place and thought you were going off the rails. The obvious imrovement in your state of mind, plus her own course may have adjusted her outlook. She might not have meant to be unpleasant, though I might be wrong. Anyway, your courage in facing your demons, and your ability to see the best in people and not hang on to grudges always impresses me

    • Thank you! The fact is she works as a therapist – but as a psychologist! I think it’s that which is the main stumbling block. She spent several years training and has what I’d call an “Idee fixe” that to be able to offer any form of help to anyone you have to have been trained as she was! Which rather limits her choices

  2. I’m so pleased to hear that this has worked out. Friendships are important and I would have thought, based on her training, she may have been able to deal with whole matter more appropriately. The main thing is that she seems to have got there in the end. Horray for our ability to ‘shift’ how we feel and act. Good luck with your brothers 😉 If anyone can do it you can.

  3. As always it is the man who has to calm the situation and set things off on the right track.

    Glad things are settling down with her,

  4. Sounds like your friend recognized that the world is changing and she finally decided to change with it. I’m glad. Your attitude toward her is admirable. I’m sure that helped her to make her all-important decision.

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