I’m consumed by an inner sadness this evening. Not just for me and Alex and what we threw away but much more for the many people who visit here or whose blogs I’ve been reading recently. So many of whom are facing the collapse of a relationship and the fall out that it brings and all the horrific pain attached to it.
What makes us as a species treat those we once loved with such unkindness. What makes us want to hurt and what makes us want to destroy.
Fear that something isn’t right is definitely one reason. Fear at not having the courage to find out the real reasons. Fear at not being good enough. Fear at the prospect that ‘this is all there is’. I don’t know all the answers. I’m just throwing ideas out into the ether.
But one thing I do know and I know it to the depth of my being that until we each and everyone of us find the key to who we really are and what our needs and values are, we are destined to carry on feeling the same way. Not necessarily exactly the same but some of the same uncertainties will surface sooner or later.
All the things people told me to do, as I worked my way out of my own particular Chilean Mine, didn’t help one jot! Why? Well I’m me not them! We are all unique human beings and have a unique map of the world and how we interact with it.
What did help was being guided and coached at what being me actually meant and then looking at me differently. Understanding me made a massive difference as I could then change the bits that weren’t serving me as they should and so become true to myself and give myself my own unique route out. That’s all any of us can do
For those who do feel lost, insecure, frightened – whatever – then I know there is help. I know because I found it. And it was ultimately great fun finding out about me!! It didn’t totally remove the sadness of what I lost or what might have been but it has, I hope, helped me know how I’ll do things differently next time.
And there will be a next time.
Just a thought!