A year makes all the difference!

A year ago (just about) I went out on a date.  I had  lots of expectations – all of which were dashed!  The individual a “Mr Friday” if I recall was not blessed with many social graces! (click to find out!).  I’ve seen the funny side of the encounter ever since  – but dates since then have been thin on the ground.  In fact, dear reader, non-existent!

Well enough is enough!  I logged on to one of the sites I seem to be subscribed to and decided to be a bit more pro-active.  I emailed a few ‘likely’ men and one has replied.  We exchanged a few messages at the weekend and spoke on the phone on Sunday evening.  We may meet next weekend!  During the day this time!

I have to say I’m not that convinced about this particular specimen of the human race as he hasn’t bothered to message me since our phone call since Sunday and as I was the one that phoned him (I’m not releasing my phone no. just to any stranger!) I’m not that impressed!

So whereas a year ago my expectations were high and I so wanted the whole thing to pan out brilliantly, now, a year later, I find I’m just mildly curious to meet this man.  If he’s nice I may like to see him again.  I’ll see!

What I seem to have finally got rid of is carrying around all my ‘baggage’ from my divorce.  Yes I still miss Alex (rather more than I’d wish)  but I have a new confidence in me that’s saying  I’m fine on my own until the right person turns up.

I’m probably not putting this very well.  But I know what I mean.  It’s sort of feeling more in charge of me and a feeling that I don’t need to be reliant on anyone else to make me feel safe any more.  I can do that for myself.

Yes, I still feel lonely and I really don’t like being on my own but I can wait and it’s OK.

14 thoughts on “A year makes all the difference!

  1. No.no.no!

    Already you’re in a place where there’s guessing going on.

    ‘maybe at the weekend’
    ‘why hasn’t he contacted me after the phonecall’

    Take my advice, and please don’t go. He may not show up. You don’t want your first date to be a no-show. That wont help your confidence (and you’re doing so well!!)

    Buy a cheap mobile (they’re about ten pounds) and use that number for the dating site.
    Never write or email a man on there first. If there’s someone on there that likes what he sees then he’ll want to do it first. Then Atleast you know where you stand already.
    No woman wants to hear this, but when you wrote first (and when you called) you were basically saying to that man ‘hi, pick me, I’m desperate!’

    That’s how he received it.
    If he does respond well to it, he’ll be the man that likes a woman to do everything – make plans first, initiate EVERYTHING first. He won’t ever remember any important dates, he won’t ever have to try.. he’ll just always presume you’ll do it.
    If you have to stay single forever more, please never do what you did already.
    You might have some progress with it, but it won’t be the sort you’re after.

    Maybe I would go at the weekend, Atleast it’ll give you some experience and top up your confidence? But, in all honesty, I think you should wait until a man approaches you – not the other way around. Good luck! x

  2. Good for you girl. I think there is nothing wrong with being a bit proactive and I think you are in exactly the right frame of mind for this date. I do think though that Planet Nicola’s suggestion of buying a cheap mobile and using that for the dating site is a great idea.

  3. Cheap mobile with pay as you go sim card.
    You can ditch the sim and get a replacement, with a new number, as required. Typically they give you the sim with a £10 top up,
    PN is very much and advocate of letting the male do all the work. Some of us do require some gentle encouragement though.

    • The gentle encouragement should be just being on the dating site. It already says ‘I’m single and on the Market for love’
      Apart from a nice photo and a few words about herself, that’s as much as she needs to do, for now.

        • Are you talking about women?? I don’t think there’s many women who are up for that? But men? they should really write that, and just cut to the chase.

          • Admittedly that is more a male thing.
            But that is how the Ex started, looking for alternate entertainment prior to our divorce.

      • But I did that 7 months ago!! And not a peep have I had. And that applies to several different sites.

        Maybe women in their 60s have more to contend with! And a gentle nudge to those they like the look of just helps I believe

        • You can meet a man in real life without using these. What about walking. I see lots of eligible men out walking. If you don’t like walking (or don’t even have a dog) borrow someone elses and just wander around with it. It helps to just glance at men (or anyone!) and just smile and say hello. That’s usually a good signal for someone else to spark a conversationwith you. Or join some night classes.. a library. Pubs, clubs online.. not really great places to meet available men. And by the way, you don’t look sixty so why not try having a little make over to make yourself look even more younger. If all else fails then it gives you a fresh look. I think that’s a good start in turning a new page in your life.

  4. Well, I find all three comments interesting. I’m glad there’s a male perspective in the pack.

    Your last paragraphs about your feelings mirror mine. I think you put it very well. I totally understand. Good luck and keep us posted. Big hugs as you move forward.

  5. Ok, here’s the male perspective. The cheap mobile is a good idea, and safety is always paramount as I’m sure you know but apart from that, you sound pretty grounded on things and a lot more settled than you were last year so thats all good. No harm can come of it. If you’re bored you can make an excuse and leave. Better still, meet for a coffee because that doesn’t tie you down for too long. If it goes well then you can arrange a lunch. Good luck and enjoy yourself. Just don’t take it too seriously unless he turns out to be a surprise.

  6. Thank you all for your advice on the mobile – good idea.
    There is nothing desperate about me approaching some of the chaps on the dating site!!! And my phone call to him was only because I wouldn’t allow him to ring me.

    I do believe men need some encouragement too, especially those who like me may be a bit bruised from past events. The age range I’m in is afterall, 50s to mid 60s.
    If he contacts me to arrange a meeting then I shall go. If not then I shan’t contact him again. Simples!!

    • The mobile was my idea! 🙂
      And you’re going to need one for when he asks for your number, or how else will he contact and pursue you? And don’t say email!
      It’s ironic I know when you’ve met online, but the last thing you want to be doing is exchanging conversations online.
      Another tip is: don’t be online at the weekends, especially Saturday. You must always appear to be busy.. even if you are. A early weeknight (such as Monday or tuesdays) is best.

Please do leave a comment. I'd love to read what you think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s