Having choice is a good start point

We are all 100% responsible for how we react and behave.  The problems arise  when we don’t realise that and so bring out conditioned responses to situations.  Those responses which we convince ourselves are just part of us, the way we are and which we have no control over.

Wrong!  Of course we have control over them. We may just not know it!

Yesterday was a manic day for many of my staff as they worked their hearts out to ensure the company ‘open day’ ran smoothly and with no hitches.  They were put under severe pressure at times from people who should have known better, as schedules were changed or pieces of equipment failed and those who were in the limelight panicked and took it out on the only people they could – my staff.

A couple of them got edgy, their smiles became a little fixed and I could see were finding the going tough. 

I took them ‘out of circulation’ for a couple of minutes and gave them time to air their angsts and then gently encouraged them to find other choices on how they wanted to react by seeing  the rudeness of others as their inability to handle the pressure.  Soon I had them back with genuine smiles clear in the choices they had made –  that they could handle themselves better than the others as they had chosen not to get cross or be rude never mind what level of pressure they were being put through!!

We can all choose to ‘knee-jerk’ react to other people or situations.  But we don’t have to. We can choose to trust, we can choose to believe, we can choose when and with whom we want to be seen as vulnerable, we can choose when or not to control, or get angry or irritated.  We also choose to love and when and who to love and why.  The choices are endless.

One of the great things life coaching brings is learning how to get these endless choices and so have them at our finger tips to use when we choose to use them.

So many people I know have said to me “Don’t do any of that life coaching stuff on me I don’t want to know anything more about me than I do already”

Goodness me why ever not!  Because it doesn’t remove choice it just opens up the world to more choice and more choice I believe, gives you the chance to be the best possible person you can be as you’re not being hampered by the lack of it.

5 thoughts on “Having choice is a good start point

  1. I agree, it seems completely absurd that some people do not want to know themselves better. Chosing how your react to a situation is an interesting thing to get your head around, and in practice an extremely hard thing to do when the stakes are high, or pushing your emotional buttons.
    Still, brilliant that you can find so many ways to use your new skills at work 🙂

  2. “find other choices on how they wanted to react by seeing the rudeness of others as their inability to handle the pressure. ” What a great idea! I believe in improving the self in whatever way possible, and though not a life-coach, I do often deal with helping people to reframe what they’re thinking. I look forward to learning a lot more 🙂 Angie

  3. Some people are so good at coping with it, though, as you really wish they would argue just a little so as it clears the air and you can come to some mutual understanding. It’s almost like passive aggressiveness when they don’t. Like, letting the situation go so far over their head, as they’re not taking any responsibility for their “wrong” doing whatsoever.
    Like Anders Behring Breivik (the man on trial in Norway) for example. How could a relative or a parent not get upset with what he has done? And yet he doesn’t show any remorse for it whatsoever, because in his head – he was right.. and everyone else was wrong and causing the chaos.

    I do believe we can choose how we react – but under some circumstances it becomes unhealthy to restrain how we feel. They say, don’t they, don’t bottle things up. I feel like I have a voice, hands and a brain not to let someone not walk all over me. We’re all born we those survival tools.
    But where needs be I generally keep quite calm and see reason and sense with other people stupidity :O)

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