That was and sometimes still is my problem. My divorce was too amicable! There were no shouting matches or angry words. There was no hatred. There was an amazing amount of care, of laughter and of indecision.
We hugged masses. We cried together. We talked – but probably not enough. He dithered!! So much and so often! The lovely mediator who we went to to finalise our finances would look at us in amazement and confusion after our sessions as we stood outside together chatting and smiling at each other.
When Alex came round to sort out his belongings (which he spun out over 18 months) he would also go and get take-away meals and stay and chat well into the evening. Yes he would ‘bolt’ when it was time to go and then he’d run from a more significant hug. No wonder I was confused.
It would have been so much easier to have got really angry – but I didn’t! It would have been so much easier if he had been nasty – but he wasn’t!
It was the way it was. We conducted ourselves with a strange kindness and care, masses of uncertainty and confusion!
I will always believe that had we found Stephen earlier – and by that I mean before the OW came into our lives – we would have come through together – together and very happy. It might have been a challenging ride but I believe worth it!! We each had issues we needed to address but neither of us realised what those were. From what Alex said he discovered things about himself he didn’t know were there. It was the same for me!
The legacy of all this kindness is perhaps harder to live with as we still get on so well!
Enjoy your day dear reader. I’m off house hunting this morning as I learnt this week that my landlord has decided to sell my little rented cottage from under my feet – and not to me! I need to give myself some security and certainty and that starts with having somewhere to live!