Those of you who used to visit this blog on a regular basis know my story and what I went through and the help and guidance I received through my life coach – Stephen Hedger. To those who don’t – well it’s all here!! A long read but I think some of the pages and posts are helpful!
I stopped blogging on a regular basis last May (2012) as this blog had served its purpose!
However, I’ve noticed recently that a great many people end up here as they’ve used his name as a search term. To help you find out how he helped me and the input I received from him here on this blog I’ve now created a ‘Stephen Hedger’ category.
I did not tell Stephen about this site for quite a while and then only allowed him to view but not comment! It was important to me to feel I could say anything here and not feel restricted or constrained about anything. He was very supportive of what I was doing and would telephone me when he saw me taking a dip. Soon it became clear that his advice to me would also help so many others so I invited him to comment when he saw fit. The result has been so useful to so many. All the way through Stephen respected this space and commented with immense understanding.
The ‘Stephen Hedger’ category gives you a fast insight into the help I received.
To anyone considering seeking help from him, all I can say is I thoroughly recommend you do!
Good luck with whatever problem or issue you have
I see that despite not posting anything for about 6 months I still have a follower list!
Well just to let you know I’m still around! Work keeps me busy and I have been doing some coaching – which I find incredibly fulfilling and I appear to be able to make a difference to those I coach – and a positive difference at that, which is great.
Do I still get low days? Of course I do – I’m human!
But Goals are the answer. Even if it’s writing the Christmas cards or sorting out ‘stuff’. I’ve moved and am now in my own little house – which I own – so having all my belongings back from storage has meant a great deal of sorting out ‘stuff’!
And I did finally do the ‘shopping challenge’ set me by Stephen all that time ago! (I had to go in to a shop and ask for something they didn’t sell! – eg A bunch of flowers in a phone shop). And I didn’t giggle!!
The effect of having achieved this was interesting. Relief – that I’d finally found the courage to do it – and a feeling of achievement that I could actually do it without giving myself away. Also realising that it didn’t matter what the shop owner thought of me – possibly that I was insane – I couldn’t care – I know I’m sane and that’s all that matters!
I’ve had a few dates which have been interesting but not long lasting!
My goals for 2013 are to get more clients to coach and also to improve my social life
That was and sometimes still is my problem. My divorce was too amicable! There were no shouting matches or angry words. There was no hatred. There was an amazing amount of care, of laughter and of indecision.
We hugged masses. We cried together. We talked – but probably not enough. He dithered!! So much and so often! The lovely mediator who we went to to finalise our finances would look at us in amazement and confusion after our sessions as we stood outside together chatting and smiling at each other.
When Alex came round to sort out his belongings (which he spun out over 18 months) he would also go and get take-away meals and stay and chat well into the evening. Yes he would ‘bolt’ when it was time to go and then he’d run from a more significant hug. No wonder I was confused.
It would have been so much easier to have got really angry – but I didn’t! It would have been so much easier if he had been nasty – but he wasn’t!
It was the way it was. We conducted ourselves with a strange kindness and care, masses of uncertainty and confusion!
I will always believe that had we found Stephen earlier – and by that I mean before the OW came into our lives – we would have come through together – together and very happy. It might have been a challenging ride but I believe worth it!! We each had issues we needed to address but neither of us realised what those were. From what Alex said he discovered things about himself he didn’t know were there. It was the same for me!
The legacy of all this kindness is perhaps harder to live with as we still get on so well!
Enjoy your day dear reader. I’m off house hunting this morning as I learnt this week that my landlord has decided to sell my little rented cottage from under my feet – and not to me! I need to give myself some security and certainty and that starts with having somewhere to live!
That’s all a girl wants! A gentle touch rather than a full on hit!
A stroke across the body and she’ll give you her full on attention and copy your every action. She’ll light up instantly if you press her buttons in the right way and then take you to places you’ve only ever dreamed of.
If you are prepared to search she can introduce you to new games and show you applications which will astound you!
My iPad is definitely female and like any woman she is taking time to understand. She has moments of being quirky but I’m getting to know her and now I’ve discovered how to get the best from her we’re moving forward in leaps and bounds!
It’s all about understanding her needs and how she likes to be treated!
A bit like life really!
A good question!
Stephen Hedger (the life coach I went to) has posted this on his blog today.
Worth us all giving time to think over and answer, I believe.
And in the spirit of sharing! Here are my answers – in no particular order:
I love me when:
- I live by my values
- I focus on my future
- I give to others
- I care for my body
- I listen and appreciate others’ points of view
- I grow
- I see the funny side of life
- I allow myself the freedom to be who I want to be!
- I stand back
- I trust myself
Every couple of months or so I go back through the archives of my blog (I’m so glad I have the archives as a widget – it makes it so much easier to zip back in time!) and read past posts.
Wow, a lot of repetition!! But also moments of insight and challenges which have given me the necessary push forward!
I came across Limbo Land just now – a useful post as it was written a couple of months before I finally ‘found my goal’!!
A good reminder!
I also like to read the archives of other readers’ blogs to see how far they’ve come, or not!
Some have changed massively, some haven’t. Some are stuck in the never ending circle of the same issues. Some are firing onwards with their lives.
What they choose to write about or or not is totally down to them and absolutely none of my business!! After all I am not in a position to judge others. I’m not living their lives from their perspective!
All I can say it’s quite an eye opener to have a trawl back in time and remind oneself of how things were 1, 2 or 3 years ago, and if life was much the same then as it is now and then wasn’t too hot, then how’s it going to be in 1,2 or 3 …..years time into the future if you carry on as you are!
Just a thought.
So what am I doing? Well today I went to see a Financial Advisor which was a much more cheering experience than I expected.
I also appear to have volunteered to become chairman of our local twinning association. Our village is twinned with one in France. I’m not sure how this came about but it appears my unconscious decided it was a great idea as to my horror I heard myself say I’d be prepared to give it a go!