Help for the Suddenly Singles

I’ve just a whiz round my favourite blogs.  See links on the right>>>>

Here some of us, are not necessarily floundering round in our single state, but are in need of companionship, company and someone to do things with.  Some of us SSs are launching ourselves onto the Internet Dating scene with varying results (I won’t suggest success as I don’t think any of us have achieved what we are looking for).

What we need is help and guidance!!  How to get the best for ourselves from whichever routes we have chosen.

One of my blogging friends feels she doesn’t want another serious relationship as she’s made 2 bad choices in her life already.  That’s her choice and I totally respect it.  But wouldn’t it be great for her if she discovered in herself what it is that either attracts her to the ‘wrong choices’ or makes the ‘wrong choices’ head for her.  So she is then totally free to have all the choices the world can offer!

For me it seems I have an amazing ability to attract weak men!  OK I’ve now learned to keep a weather eye out for them.  But am I putting strong men off?  And if so what am I doing or portraying  – or hiding – which is stopping strong men wanting to sweep me off my feet and care for me the way I want to be cared for and protected!  Because, yes I’m scared of getting it wrong again.

A lot of us are finding our feet again.  We are understandably finding this rather un-nerving and are feeling a bit wary.  We are bruised. We don’t want to be hurt again.  We need to trust ourselves not to be.

Whether we just want someone to be a companion to go to the theatre with, the occasional dinner out, or whether we are looking for a long-term commitment, the problem is the same.  How do we ensure we’ll be safe and attract the right sort of person?  Are there things we should be doing and asking ourselves to make sure we make the right choices?  And that the right choices make a bee line for us!

So come on gurus out there.  Give us some guidance and assistance!!!

(I feel this could be a good subject for a blog post from SH – I just might email him and suggest it!)

Re-reading past posts and pages!

Good morning my dear readers.

I’ve just spent the last hour having a long re-read of this blog!!  I’ve read all the pages I created along the way.  I’ve gone over some of the old posts.

How extraordinarily therapeutic this has been.  Yes I’ve had a weep as I reminded myself of the dark catastrophic place I was in when I started out on this blogging marathon.  The Eureka Moments I’ve had along the way (and why do I think there still might be more to come?) have been wonderful to read.  Even though the 2nd has been so incredibly tough to acknowledge and will need – one day – to be faced and dealt with.

It is true – I have come a long way!

But I still want more.  And the great thing is that having reminded myself of how far I have come I now realise that I can get the rest!!!  After all – all I need to do is double the ‘distance’!

I hope the sun is shining on your day today.  It looks as though, finally, the sun is about to shine here in the UK.

Have a lovely day everyone.  Now I must get going and not waste this day by sitting about doing very little!!

Who knows I blog?

Lots of my friends here in the UK know I blog.  They even may have a sneaky suspicion I’m using blogging to help me get through all this – what they don’t know is what this blog is called or the name I use when I write here!

Why?  Well it’s better for me – I can be the real me without causing angst to myself.  It protects ‘Alex’ and what we had from prying eyes.

So actually there are only 2 of my local friends who know.  They read it and comment occasionally which is lovely.  They know because I chose to tell them, because I felt totally safe telling them about it and because they 100% support the route I’m choosing to get through all this.

Many of my other close friends have to remain in the dark because there are aspects of the route I am taking they don’t agree with (I mentioned this a few days ago!).  So it is kinder on me and on them that they don’t know.

So to anyone going through a traumatic time I would say blog away if it helps but keep it anonymous until you are 100% certain you feel safe to tell someone your true identity.  For me it has been the most phenomenal release to be able to say what I like here without fear of upsetting people who know me.

And for Stephen (my Life Coach) I think it’s helped him know how I’m getting on between sessions.  (And don’t think I told him to start with – he had to wait quite a while before I let him read it!).

BTW, Stephen, you can comment if you wish!

What does everyone else think??

Blogging is helpful

Hi, dear reader!

Yet again I’ve woken with the feeling that life has to be better than this.  That none of this should be happening to me and that I really believed/believe that Alex still cares.

So I’ve been reminding myself of how far I’ve come.  I’ve been re-reading my posts of the end of October and early November when things could have taken a different turn – but didn’t.  I’ve come a long way since then.

It’s so useful to have this to look back on (I should do it more – it might stop me endlessly repeating myself!!)

So all I need to do is double the distance I’ve already come and I just might be happy!

blog surfing is interesting!

I’ve had a little surf round various blogs:  Bloggers who comment on blogs who comment on mine.

I always have a good old read, not just their recent posts but any additional pages these bloggers add so I get a feel about who they are and why they blog.

It’s all very interesting!  I then did a check on the Stats for my blog and actually very few readers read the other pages I’ve created. Blimey am I that boring??!!

Still I’m not going to delete them.  To me they are important and all part of what I’ve been through/am going through.

BTW I’m beginning to feel a bit better. Well I should be I’ve spent nearly all today asleep!!

But spooky – something is running over the roof. That’s the first night time noise I’ve heard since I’ve been here.

Blog title change

It was no good I didn’t feel comfortable with January’s title.  It didn’t feel honest or true to my day-to-day feelings.  So I’ve changed it to “I Can Survive – and one day I’ll Fly”  as this is my goal – but not one I’ve yet achieved and succeeded on every day. (Titles I’ve given this blog can be found on my Info on this blog page)

Maybe this just takes longer than I realised.  Maybe I need to find more inner strength.  Maybe – even though I loathe the phrase with a vengence – I do, actually, have to find a way to “Let go”.

I don’t know.  All I do know is – I’m not there yet. Wherever “There” is!!.  Well as sure as hell it isn’t here! 

Well it better not be.