It’s served its purpose

For several weeks now I’ve been pondering as to whether my blog has run its course.  It’s served its purpose and maybe it’s time to let it rest.

I don’t know. 

I never expected it to be so therapeutic.  I never expected to get the readership it has.  Wonderful people who I have empathised with and who have supported, encouraged, cajoled and nurtured me.  It has been humbling and amazingly touching.  You have been the people I shared every twist and turn of emotion with.  To whom I’ve bared my soul as I’ve searched for answers, faced things that I didn’t know I needed to face,   as I hunted for my route back to happiness.

I owe all of you a massive debt of gratitude.  Without meeting most of you I’ve nonetheless come to feel I know you all so well.

We’ve had fun along the way. You’ve made me smile and laugh. You’ve cheered me on when all I could do is weep!   I look back on the great discussions that took place here.  The fact that although we’ve had differences of opinion we have respected those opinions and chosen the words we have written with great respect for each other.  Thank you.

I owe a massive debt of gratitude to Stephen my life coach who gave so much of his time freely, either here on this blog or in the copious number of emails, texts and telephone calls.  I believe knowing about this blog helped him coach me because he could watch my mood swings and was able to (and did) pick up when I wobbled.  His incredible dedication and support to his clients is amazing.

Without him and the type of coaching he provided I would never have found my new direction in life.  One I am increasingly excited about and one which I know will meet my values head-on.

Yes I am now flying – sometimes I soar.  I don’t want this blog to pull me back.  It is in danger of being an anchor still linking me to the ground!    I’m not sure why.  It is what it is.

I am not going to disappear into the ether. I shall continue to follow all your blogs.  Try stopping me!!  I shall continue to comment when I feel I have something constructive, funny or amusing to say.  Or I feel I can be a valuable support.  But for now I don’t see me posting here.  I could be wrong. 

As it stands right now it has mapped my route from near suicide to the place of happiness I’m now in.  One I would have reached a lot earlier had Alex not dithered about coming back and fed me confusing messages on how he felt. But it was the way it was.  For me my space here now has a feeling of completeness.  (Feel free to disagree dear reader!)

I have a sister blog to this one which I’m considering activating.  One which is free of the angst of my past.  One which could be there for fun, silly stories and the new me.  I’m thinking about it!!  I do like writing so maybe that will be my answer!

So, for now,  a massive number of hugs to you all.  My special blogland friends.  You have inspired me and been there for me and for that I can’t find words to express how touched I’ve been.

This is how I see it today.

Tomorrow everything could be different…………………………!!

Caroline
xxxx