Telephone Calls, Turkey and TV

I hope you had a lovely day yesterday, dear reader!  I did.  I had a lie in.  I studied (I think it’s becoming an obsession!)  and then I went to friends for a late lunch, played with their 7 month old granddaughter. The day drifted happily into an afternoon of playing games and watching strange programmes on TV – those ones especially reserved for Christmas day viewing!!

And I didn’t bolt!!

So this year was better than last, which was better than the one before!  Small steps!

A great friend of mine  who became world champion glider pilot many years ago, said the art of winning was not to look back.  Not wishing you’d taken that extra thermal or extra 100 feet or so to gain that little bit more height.  Because as he so succinctly put it:

The situation you’re in is the situation you’re in.

And the only way to keep airborne is to deal with the situation you’re in there and then, and not waste one moment of brain power or energy wishing you’d done something different before.  Use the knowledge you have and the knowledge you’ve just gained as a positive, and with that new found knowledge and your ability,  concentrate on dealing with your NOW, to keep in the air and keep moving forward and this time in the next thermal climb a few more 100 feet  so you can improve your chances of winning.

So dear reader may you pull on the resources and brilliant ability within you to fly your own particular course and win your personal competition.

Christmas Time

That time of year when we throw ourselves into an overindulgence of buying, eating, drinking and forced jollity(?).

I’ve organised my time to be peaceful.  I’m going to friends on Christmas Afternoon. Otherwise I shall be on my own from tomorrow until I return to work on 3 January!  Now this may sound over solitary!  But I have 6 life coaching books to get through and I know I shall get invited to the odd (or even) meal during the break.  I might even bestir myself and invite people round.

As for presents – I really must do some shopping!  I plan to arrive in town very early tomorrow as the shops open and ‘go for it’! 

I wish all my blogging friends a great festive break.  May you all have peace and plenty and all the happiness and cheer you all so richly deserve.  May your wishes all come true!  And to Morning Wood I just say thank you for your wonderful, moving post today – you made me smile, you made me cry and you reminded me what Christmas is really about.

The dilemma of this double-edged sword

There’s definitely a double-edged sword in deciding to learn more about Life Coaching.

On the one hand I’m finding the subject fascinating.  The more I read the more I want to know.

But, and this is rather a big but, it’s also painful.  Painful realising that if I’d known a lot of this before and Alex had too then maybe things would have been different.

But it was because we didn’t that I’ve ended up in my ‘now’ and that includes finding out I’m interested in something that would never have occured to me before!

I still read Stephen’s blog posts avidly as I find them fascinating. Even if each one is a stab through my heart as I read how he helps couples get their marriages back on track and it was too late for us.

But I want to learn and not only learn from my mistakes, but also learn from the experts how they apply all the techniques they have at their ‘finger tips’ – so I’ll carry on reading and ride out the pain.

It’s tough though!

By the way it was brought home to me yesterday how much integrity there is in Stephen’s approach and coaching.  No ‘signing up’ for months and months, or years and years to be coached for ever!   Not like the treatment this person received from a psychoanalyst!  (click to read!).  Which in my view is just totally unethical.  People in trouble are very vulnerable and will grab at anything to remove the pain.  It is, in my view, a fundamental duty of the therapist to ensure the client is treated with respect.  And that includes not spinning out the therapy to suit the therapist.

Anyway I need to keep focused and not look back!  Perhaps I need to buy some blinkers!  Though probably that’s not a ‘good look’!

My ex sister-in-law (whom I’m very fond of) emailed me today giving me news of Alex and the OW (whom she dislikes!), and my  niece and nephew who I’m very fond of (I suppose that should be ex-niece and nephew!!).  So it’s been a bit tough thinking about them……   and all the other stuff.   Hearing what they’ll be doing at Christmas…..  I feel a bit left out!!

So now for some planning so I don’t!

Ooh err it’s nearly Christmas

I’m  sitting watching the start of Carols from King’s which my mother loved.  It heralded Christmas for her and we learnt from a very young age to remain silent during the 1st Carol- Once In Royal David’s City –  especially as the lone choirboy sang the 1st verse. She didn’t mind about the rest of the service – just that 1st carol.

Even now 14 years after her death I  just have to stop what I’m doing and  listen.

So to all those who read this blog – have a wonderful Christmas.

Is it me!!!

When Alex cleared out the last of his personal belongings the other day he took with him a couple of boxes of Christmas cards. Cards which we had had specially printed of a  picture which he had painted.

We used these cards over a couple of years but there were still quite a few left.

Today I received a Christmas card from Alex.  Wishing me a peaceful Christmas and signed “Alex”

And Yes –  you’ve guessed it – the same card!

Is it me??!!!  Would you have done that, dear reader?

I don’t think so!!

Fortunately I can see the funny side of it!




A better Sunday – lonely but better

I spent nearly 3 hours outside in the garden trying to photograph red kites feeding.  Of course as soon as I gave up and went inside they all swooped in for the food I’d put out!

I did go out and about and in fact bumped into a friend whose husband has just done to her what mine did to me.  So we had an uplifting chat and wished each other a Christmas – carefully leaving out the word Happy!

I could have done without hearing the track on the Radio – “I’ll be lonely this Christmas without you to hold…..”  – but that’s the way life goes!!  Perhaps I should write new lyrics to it!

“I’ll be happy this Christmas – now that you’ve gone
I’ll be happy this Christmas – from today and now on!”

Works for me!!

Still got my demon to destroy though.  Which has been haunting me rather a lot today.