I’d like to thank both LFBA and Stephen for this marathon discussion/debate.
I think it has probably run its course now – as regards benefiting those who have been watching it unfold.
I hope you’ve found it interesting!
I, personally, have found it very thought provoking and useful. For those who don’t know what’s been going on please click below.
The title of the post did have a meaning at the time!
Why isn’t today Wednesday!
Thank you to all those who are contributing to my mini-debate (which I hope you will continue to do! – Whichever post takes your fancy!).
I am really enjoying your views to these very important issues and the ensuing discussions.
And, of course, it would be great to discuss a great deal more!
For instance do we sub-consciously attract the type of partner we actually don’t want!
If I think about it I do have a tendency to attract ‘weak’ men. Maybe because I am a good organiser and activator – who knows! And because of my need to feel secure I think I can see the ‘adoration’ as a secure place to be. Wrong! I know I get nervous by someone who is too self-assured – probably because of what happened to me when I was 15 (he was a very self-assured 40 year old). I now think I can be scared that that type of man would hurt me. The self-assured men I went out with in my 20s made me feel a bit insecure.
But then I didn’t feel 100% secure with Alex all the time. And the more I got ‘pushed’ into being “masculine strong” the more uncomfortable and unloved I felt. The more I asked to be loved, the more I got a lip-service response. And I knew it was lip-service. Even if I can only now admit it.
So, dear reader, do you think you attract / attracted a ‘wrong’ partner? And do you think you are in danger of doing the same again? If so do you know why?
BTW – I also believe that ‘Wrong’ partners can become ‘right’ partners – but they have to want to be. To change and become the people they really want to be – deep inside themselves – but that has to come from within them.
Lastly (in case you’re wondering) – these debates have been my idea and mine alone! Clearly they have come about as a result of all the life coaching I’m going through! And one of the outcomes of that is a wish to understand not only how I work, but how other people have worked these things out for themselves. So in case you are wondering Stephen had no idea I was going to do this – but I must say I have enjoyed reading his input to the debates – I hope you have to!
(Admin note: If you have posted on my blog before your comments will now appear immediately. If you are new here you will need to wait until I approve your message so I can feel happy that you genuinely want to take part in this interesting debate!)
(Update: I am glad I posted this as it is interesting to get other people’s take on this topic. Stephen has commented one of my reader’s views. It would be great to have some more views! Thanks to those who have contributed so far. Caroline.xx – By the way it would be great if a few more men gave their views!)
OK so in the interests of fairness on this on-line debate – here on my blog. I now need to consider the other side of the equation.
(And by the way this isn’t about changing people, no-one can force someone to change – that has to come from within – that is a given!)
How does a ‘strong’ woman – one who has ended up in the ‘masculine’ role actually stop doing what she’s been doing (whether she liked it or not) without appearing to abdicate.
Because I know I did take over. Alex told me at the end (after he’d left!). I also know, if I’m brutally honest – and I tend to be here – that part of me liked being in charge.
But enough about me. What I want to know is how do we stop doing what we did – without generating either blazing rows or a feeling of being patronising/ condesending (ie I’m backing off so you can be a real man!).
By the way – I wonder if I’m ‘allowed’ to have femininity as a value – because if I allow myself that then actually I then get significance!
Some of you may get a bit lost here, which I can totally understand!
Anyway, men – what do you think. Are we ‘strong women’ far too intimidating? Not feminine enough? Are we failing to be the women we are supposed to be – something we’ve buried deep in our attempt to be equals at work? Is society (whoever or whatever that is) turning us into something that isn’t actually ‘working’ in the general scheme of things which nature intended? And by that I don’t mean women should be submissive!
Have we forgotten to be girlie?! Have women forgotten how to be women!
Please do give me your thoughts.