I said earlier this week that I felt there had been a war going on in my mind. Well it did feel that way. Finally the storm blew itself out and with the help of my LC I feel a great deal calmer.
There is still the odd ‘skirmish’ going on. And as usual it’s at night. And last night when the ‘demon’ with his toasting fork had another bash at dragging me back down to my past I concentrated very hard on the positives. Every truth that pushed its way to the forefront of my mind I allowed to be there but put a positive slant on.
It kind of worked! So although I feel tired today – I think the tiredness is the overall exhaustion of the last week as I wasn’t awake for long last night. (And I was in such a state of calm last night that I forgot to eat supper which probably wasn’t such a bright thing to do!)
So what did I ‘face’ last night.
I am alone – yes – but that means I can do what I want, when I want.
I want to be with someone – Yes – so isn’t that great! There are all those men out there who haven’t met me yet who – though they don’t know it – are just longing to meet me – and I just might be the answer to their dreams! And ‘he’ whoever ‘he’ is will be the answer to mine!
Moving is stressful – Yes – but then I will be somewhere new – and new is opposite the pub in our village and close to my friends and the shops – so I won’t have to drive home after an evening out!
Alex shouldn’t have done this to me – This is the tough one. But he has. And I no longer believe him when he says he still cares. Actually he must really dislike me to have done what’s he’s done. And it’s his loss. He threw it all away not me. We had a great time. So I shall have a great time with someone else. Alex isn’t the only explorer on the planet (and you take that in as many ways as you like!). I just need to find someone else who a) loves exploring other parts of the planet which I haven’t been to yet and b) Wants to explore the planet with me! – Oh Yes and c) wants to explore me!!