My “Alexometer” has been registering a steady 3 for a few days now! Last night it went to 2.5 – which is excellent. This morning it shot up to 8 with a possible peak at 9..
For those of you who don’t know what this is. This is my rating on how I feel about my soon-to-be-ex. Where 10 is wanting him back come what may and 0 is “never darken my door again”!
I have been deciding on the ‘score’ each day to see how I am doing. Moving is definitely making it wobble. And wobbly is how I feel just now
It’s now 2.00pm and I’m packed and ready to go. The movers have removed themselves with 4 containers full of my belongings which are all going to store.
They have packed everything else and left it here ready for the great exodus tomorrow. And OK I’m having a good old weep. I thought I was OK. Well I was until a neighbour rang up and asked me how I was faring and was I feeling sad!! Brilliant! Just what I needed!! My entire married life with Alex was spent in this house and I’ve just seen that life put into boxes. How does she think I’m feeling!
My question of the day – to which I know there is no answer is “Why can’t Alex be the Man I want him to be and who I believe he also wants to be?”
I am going out. I can’t sit here glaring at the boxes all afternoon. I can’t even eat as they’ve packed all the cooking stuff – all I can get at is the bread, tea and the contents of the fridge!
And I know I said yesterday I didn’t want him back. And I’m sure my LC will remind me to turn my negatives into positives!! And this isn’t a rant! Which makes a change.
I’m not feeling bloody minded, I’m just feeling….. feelings.