Today is a day NOT to think

I woke with a headache to beat all headaches!  It seemed to consume my entire body.  Even my feet hurt.  I wanted someone to massage the pain away.  So I called in sick and avoided  writing myself off by setting off to work.  I went back to bed and I slept!

It’s now midday and I am curled up in bed contemplating how I feel – which is rather washed out.

So today is not a day to think!  Difficult that!!  But maybe what I mean is not to make decisions on what I’m thinking as today is the sort of day when it would be lovely to be looked after and cossetted and that clearly is not going to happen!!

Today is a day where the Why questions loom large.

Today is a day when looking forward seems rather too daunting and looking back too easy.

Today needs to be a day when I just am and all I should be doing is allowing me some time for myself.

Perhaps that’s what today is for.

Still OK

A week has gone by and I’m still feeling a great deal happier!  Though a bit of a roller-coaster of emotions – which I suppose is natural!

I now seem to have developed a side-line in stress!  I am fine when I am awake but not when I’m asleep!!  So I now wake up all tense and headachey which is very annoying.  Just when I thought I’d come out of the pit (like a Chilean miner) and out into the sunshine I find I still need dark glasses!   Learning to walk again and stand up straight is fun but I do wobble.  Bother!!

So now I need a cure for headaches!!  This is not fair!  Cure one thing and another crops up to take its place!

This week’s life coaching session was good!  And of course, as usual, he was quite right to encourage me to have some goals – even if I spent the entire time using distracting techniques to avoid thinking of any!

The trouble is I have this fairy tale image of being very successful doing ‘something’ and making a difference in the world and possibly giving me an income – the problem is  – is finding the ‘something’!!!

It’s relentless this Life Coaching business  – but in a good way!!!

It’s also interesting how I keep changing the title of this blog!  When I started out earlier this year I called it “I will survive” – said more  in hope  than expectation!

Then I changed it to “The grass may appear greener…”  – my cynical time when I was lashing out at the injustices of what had happened!

And now I have changed it again to “I Can and I Will Survive”  – which I feel is reflecting the new changes in me and my knowledge that change lies within me and my future  happiness is not dependent on one man and one man alone!!!