And no this isn’t a rush backwards to what I assumed about my marriage or Alex.
This is about me! A topic I clearly don’t tire of!
I assumed I was unlovable. I assumed I couldn’t survive without Alex. I assumed that despite all I was doing I would never get over the loss of the man I believed was my best friend.
These assumptions were profoundly limiting to any chance I had of a brilliant future of freedom. Freedom to be the best version of me! I was convinced they were true. And that conviction made me needy, scared, vulnerable (in a bad way – not in a liberating feminine way). Thanks to Stephen’s coaching (gosh don’t I keep dishing out praise in his direction!) I overcame these limiting assumptions. Very liberating!
Since finishing my Life Coaching sessions and starting on my exciting ‘road’ to becoming a life coach myself I’ve often wondered how he did it. How did he trigger that change in me?
I think he made me question each assumption I had about myself and turn the assumption round to the opposite. So how? Well short of asking him and him telling me clearly I have no idea!
So how about this:
Every time you find yourself facing a limiting assumption question it. Look at it from every angle – including how other people might see this assumption and then tell yourself it’s not true. And finally say to yourself “If I knew that how would life be? What could I do?”
Daydream the idea! It doesn’t matter what the limiting assumption is – turn it round and have a lovely time enjoying the freedom to explore the infinite possibilities of the opposite!
I may have confused you! If I have then good. As a certain LC would say (and does frequently!). Confusion is good!!
Confusion gave me the idea of becoming a life coach even though, initially, I put several limiting assumptions in my way – all of which I managed to feed myself examples of ‘truth’ to back them up:
I’m a bad Listener
I always interrupt people
I’m too Old
I’ll be hopeless at creating rapport……..
and loads more I won’t go into!!
These assumptions turned round became
What if I become a good listener then what does that do?
What if I shut up!
What has age got to do with it?
I am popular and people do find they can talk to me!
Feeding myself positive assumptions, liberating ones, also makes me feel so much better! I can actually feel the difference. I sit up straighter. I smile to myself. All good stuff as smiling releases the endorphins. Endorphins are good little bu**ers!!
So on a personal front I am also lovable, not too old (sex doesn’t have to stop at 60! – Just think of that all of you who are in your 50s!!) and I’m also feminine and fun!
I accept I may need a dating goal! And when I do it will be to go out and have fun! Because having an intention to make it more than that would be wrong and probably far too heavy and intense. That can happen when the right man comes along and will happen when it does – as a natural progression of falling in love.
(And I still live in hope of the internet dating at least dishing up some dates – especially as I’ve just been made a ‘featured member’ on one of the sites I’m on!!)