I know you, and my LC, have my best interests at heart and you’re all rooting for me – and don’t think I don’t appreciate it. I do. Very much.
It’s the coaching which is the issue I have just now.
As I said a week ago my coaching sessions are on hold. And at this rate it looks as though this could be indefinitely! I appear unable to commit to ‘letting go’.
I shall miss the sessions in a way. When someone has got to know you that well it’s a bit bizarre just to stop suddenly. But maybe they had become – to use his quote – “expensive chats” and nothing more. In which case undoubtedly a waste of his time and my money!!
I also know there is absolutely no mileage in my LC saying that Alex could change his mind, is changing his mind, still cares….. or any other combination involving hope! As that will keep me well and truly ‘hanging on’. The trouble is when he says the opposite I don’t believe him!!
Well he may just be right. But it’s easy for him to say. I just wonder how easy he would find it if he had to do it in his own life. OK I know that’s not fair – he’s ‘been there’ too. Do men find it easier? I’ve no idea!
I also feel a bit of a failure when it comes to the life coaching business. According to one of his recent posts people usually ‘get it’ between 4-12 sessions. Well I’ve notched up 23!! So clearly I’m not one of his raging successes!! Perhaps other people are just better at all this than I am. Or the route he is now offering is not the one for me any longer. Who knows! I felt a bit bullied last week – so I retreated at speed and ‘hid’. He has been an inspiration up to now and I have benefited no end but maybe that’s it.
Maybe the next stage is feeling a bit at sea (with no oars!! – oh dear that puts me in a rowing boat and I don’t like small boats, waves or rough seas at all!!). Perhaps I just do now have to knuckle down and row!
It’s not that I mind a bit of hard work. I don’t! It’s just…..well: