There are two fantastic things about blogging (well there are probably more! But there are, for me, two top bonuses!).
The first is the support. The great comments: The encouragement, the understanding and sympathy, the challenging ones, the discussions, the different views on various posts, the coaching ones (thanks Stephen). All of which help massively and remind me I’m not alone. And even though I started this blog so I could support myself and remind myself of my goal the reality has been so much more than I’d ever imagined, as in moments of doubt – which, as you know dear reader have been somewhat frequent – I now feel that not only must I not let myself down but neither must I let you down, by ‘failing’.
The second is the blog itself. The posts and the history the posts themselves have created. The different stages I’ve been through and the emotions I’ve had. So I can now look back and see how far I’ve come, see those different stages from where I am now. Remind myself of those moments of clarity and hope. That I can and will re-capture my future.
And what my future needs is adventure. As I wrote a few months ago adventure is what I need. My problem at the moment is I can’t afford great adventures. So somewhere along the line, until I can, I need to create some little adventures!
I learnt a great deal last weekend. Don’t get me wrong I had a fun time. I enjoyed the company of those I already knew. But actually going on an almighty ‘piss up’ isn’t really me! And I struggled to find things in common with the majority of the people there. Our only link was one Radio 2 show and its presenter! I felt like a bystander and I have a shrewd suspicion I behaved like one which probably didn’t endear me to my fellows. If it hadn’t been the presence of one particular couple who I’ve known for a while I think I might have ‘bolted’!
So I feel a bit like a teenager all over again flailing around searching for the right adventures! Which is also why I feel in Limbo Land. And Limbo Land is not a great place to be as I then hark back to my past and what I had with Alex (which was lots of great adventures!).
So yes, before Stephen (Life Coach) reminds me – yet again – that I do this to myself (which I DO KNOW!), I need to stop looking back and wishing, and keep looking forward and wishing – and taking action!
I need to treat Limbo Land as my launching pad and re-capture my future. But I have to say it’s somewhat difficult and harder than I imagined. I’m very impressed by those who’ve done it. But those who have at least give me hope that I can too – even if it appears to be taking me a great deal longer than it did for them.
So what did you do dear reader to create and re-capture your future? Am I missing a trick? How did you fire yourself out of Limbo Land and grab your future with both hands?